Lines
by Evey Edge
Summary: Not every love story starts as love story. Katarina Rostova's began with a dossier. The KGB operative had no idea that accepting the mission to seduce a young naval intelligence officer would change the course of her life. A series of one-shots following the relationship of Raymond Reddington and Katarina Rostova.
1. Cursed

" _The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."_ John Steinbeck's words had never felt so applicable to Katarina's life as they did at that moment. Staring down at those two terrible lines she wondered how she, the most meticulous of women, had allowed this to happen. She'd been careful, just as she'd been trained to be. Yet here was the evidence that she had not been careful enough.

A familiar image flooded her unwilling mind for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past three weeks. Blue eyes that pierced hers, eyes that had once seemed so soft, hardened like glacial clips. The ache in her gut hit her just as sharply as it had that terrible night. Raymond. She still didn't understand why what happened was affecting her like this. Katarina had been in the field for six years. While she wasn't exactly a veteran, she was a seasoned agent. She'd honestly thought she'd numbed herself to any guilt over the people she'd hurt and betrayed, but somehow this one mission was haunting her. He was haunting her. She'd hoped coming to home to Konstantin would help her forget. So far she'd been sorely disappointed.

Though their marriage had been planned by the Centre, Katarina had grown to appreciate her husband for far more than the access his position proved her. Konstantin Rostov was a good man. Honest. Smart. Handsome. He accepted her. Loved her, or at least the pieces of herself she allowed him to see. He was stability, her very own piece of normal. But now that was done. She'd ruined it by being weak and careless.

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts.

"Katarina, is everything alright?" She closed her eyes and willed her voice to be steady.

"I'm fine. Something I ate disagreed with me, that's all."

"Should I call for a doctor?" Katarina almost laughed in spite of herself. It was one in the morning. Who on earth would summon a physician for food poisoning at this time of night? Her smile faded. Her husband would, because he loved her.

"No, my love. Go back to bed. I'll be there in a moment." There was a short pause before she heard him shuffle away from the door. Poor Konstantin. He didn't deserve this. He deserved a good wife. Someone who could love him completely, with her entire heart. Someone who could be honest with him. Someone who could be faithful to him. Someone who wanted to give him a family.

Katarina grasped the edge of the toilet that she'd be sitting next to, overcome by a wave of nausea. When she finished she shakily wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. If Katarina was the type to believe in such things, she'd think she was being judged for her many sins. She'd been cursed for what she'd done to Konstantin. Cursed for what she'd done to Raymond.

No. She couldn't allow herself to think that way. That way lay madness. All she had done, she had done to serve her country. Konstantin would understand that, even if the truth did come out. He'd known what she was when he married her. And Raymond...Raymond was someone she couldn't afford to consider any longer. In time she would forget his stories. The way his kisses sent waves heat from her lips all the way to her toes. How it felt to be nestled into his shoulder and experience that impossible sensation of belonging. The sense of being whole. Being home.

Katarina closed her eyes, desperately wanting to return to that flat in Bethesda, to turn back the clock. She could almost see him there, stretched out on the couch, arms behind his head, a grin that was wicked, but also somehow boyish spread across his face. That smile had been just for her and she wanted it back. She wanted him back. Tears threaten to spill over the corners of her eyes, but she suppressed them. Damn hormones were making her irrational and stupid. Raymond was gone and neither self-loathing, nor self-pity was going to change that.

Katarina pushed herself up off the tiles of the bathroom floor. Using the toothbrush and toothpaste, she cleaned out the residual bad taste of her morning sickness. Once she was done, Katarina stared at herself in the mirror. She looked like hell. Her currently blonde hair was mussed from sleep, her skin was tinged slightly green. Clearly anyone who ever said pregnancy made women 'glow' was full of shit. At least she wouldn't have trouble convincing Konstantin she was ill. She looked it. Katarina sighed and splashed some water on her face. She needed to be practical.

She was pregnant and she could just as easily be carrying Raymond's child as her husband's. The obvious option was to terminate the pregnancy. Konstantin need never know. It would be wrong to bring a child into her crumbling world. No matter what small victories she provided her country, they were losing this cold war. When it ended where would she be? An agent without a country and that was if she lived that long. Her handlers were sending her on more and more dangerous assignments. She could easily be dead before her thirtieth birthday or rotting in some American jail cell. It would better for everyone if the pregnancy never reached full term. Decision made she turned off the bathroom and headed out into the bedroom.

"Are you...alright?" The hesitation in her husband's voice was strange. Though his words were the same as before, something was different. She smiled at him as she slipped under the covers.

"Of course. A little food poisoning, that's all. Or maybe a stomach bug." Her reply was met with silence, so she closed her eyes and was about to drift off when she heard him speak again.

"Are you sure? I meant that you're not..." Katarina kept her breathing careful and even as she opened her eyes and looked at her husband. His eyes were now open and staring up at the ceiling.

"That I'm not...what?" Konstantin swallowed as though unsure he should continue. It was very unlike him. He was always so confident, assertive even.

"Pregnant. I know we've talked about waiting but I've noticed the past week, your appetite has been off and..." Konstantin closed his mouth, seemingly too embarrassed to continue. He finally looked her in the eye and asked "Are you sure?" Katarina should said 'yes'. She knew that. She'd already decided. Any baby would be a disaster and this one in particular was a curse from the gods. She should tell him that'd she wondered the same thing, but she'd taken a test and it had come back negative. Konstantin wouldn't demand proof. He trusted her, little though she earned it. The trouble was that he looked so hopeful. She'd didn't deserve him, this man she'd lied to and betrayed, even if he didn't realize it. He wanted a child from her and in that moment, she found she didn't have the heart to deny him.

"I don't know. I hadn't thought...Contraception isn't full-proof and...I suppose it's possible. I'll buy a test tomorrow." At the very least that would buy her a little more time to think about it.

"If you are...I know this isn't something you've planned on so soon, but we can make arrangements. Nannies. I know how important your work is. To the cause and to you." Typical Konstantin. Optimistic. Considerate. Not expecting her to surrender everything, only to meet him halfway. Katarina gently touched her husband's lips.

"And I know how important a family is to you. We'll figure it out. Together." Konstantin smiled broadly at Katarina and pulled her in for a kiss. She began unbuttoning her husband's nightshirt, focusing with all her energy on the task, refusing to allow thoughts of anyone or anything else to intrude. This was her world, her reality, and she was lucky to have returned to it. If this child was the price she paid to make Konstantin happy, she would pay it. She owed him that much.


	2. Business

There was a definite nip in the London air as Katarina hurried across the seat, her arm linked with her husband's. She leaned into Konstantin, not of course that she could steal any of his body heat through the coat he had wisely chosen to wear. Her husband noticed the movement and chuckled.

"I did say it would get colder after sunset." He laughed again at her answering scowl and then shrugged out of his coat. Seeing what he was up to, Katarina's expression softened.

"Konstantin, that's not necessary." She was the one who had stubbornly insisted that she didn't need the extra layer. There was no reason for her husband to suffer for her foolish mistake.

"Of course is. You're my wife. Besides, I've spent every year of my life dealing with cold much worse than this. I'm acclimatized." Konstantin draped the garment around her shoulders, cloaking her in his warmth. Grateful though she was for the coat, she didn't appreciate the implication that she was delicate due to her American upbringing.

"We had winter in Virginia too, you know." Konstantin had no way of knowing this was a bit of a sore subject for her. When she had been training as a KGB operative her fellow recruits and even some of her instructors had looked on her with disdain and distrust, because she had been born and raised in enemy territory. She supposed she couldn't blame them. She hadn't even known she was Russian until she'd been recruited. When most of her classmates had been learning to speak English and how to blend into American culture, she had been learning Russian and to read and write cyrillic.

There'd only been one other girl like her at the academy, Natalya formerly Natalie. Despite the similarly in their circumstances, they couldn't have been more different. Natalya was dark where Katarina was fair. Slow to laugh. Closed off. If not for the external forces bonding them, they likely would have never become friends. Still they had, eventually, and Katarina missed her Natalya's sarcasm, and the rare moments she'd managed to make her friend smile.

"-winter in Moscow. Besides my outfit's a bit more substantial than yours. Not that I'm complaining, of course." Konstantin's voice dragged her back into the present. What had he said? Oh, her dress.

"Enjoy it, because will be the last time you'll see me in it for a long time." Her outfit felt tighter than it had ever felt before. Her body was beginning to betray her, to mold itself into a vessel for the life that was slowly growing inside her. She hated the changes, hated the lack of control. Katarina knew the same couldn't be said for Konstantin. His grin brightened as he speculatively glanced down at her so to be bulging stomach.

"Tell me again about who we're meeting for dinner?" Business was always a good re-direct with Konstantin and it would spare her from having to act excited about the child that would be arriving in five and a half months.

"Phillip Morris, of Imperial Chemical Industries. They manufacture plastics, among other things. Last year they developed an amazing new polymer-" Katarina smiled as he husband rattled of all the relevant details, which he wasn't aware she already knew. She'd been briefed when she'd told her handlers about her husband's request to accompany him on a trip to London. The idea was to have some time together as a couple, before the baby was born. Of course her husband, being who he was, had managed to to schedule in some work in as well. She didn't resent it, it was simply who Konstantin was, and it was undoubtedly part of the reason she'd been permitted to go at all. It was her husband's international connections that made the Centre desire Katarina's marriage to him. An up and comer in the UK's largest exporting company might be a valuable asset one day.

"Have you met Mr. Morris before?" Konstantin shook his head.

"I've spoken to the man on the phone. He's sharp. You'll like him. Ah, here we are." They'd stopped at what appeared to be an intimate french bistro. Konstantin held open the door and allowed Katarina to enter first. The concierge greeted them politely at the entrance. An employee immediately rushed over to take Konstantin's coat from Katarina.

"Reservation for Morris?" The concierge summoned a hostess to lead them into the restaurant. It had a lovely ambience, with the music, the candlelight, and the exposed brick wall. They rounded a corner and suddenly Katarina could no longer appreciate any of it. Raymond Reddington was seated at one of the long wooden tables, sipping a scotch as if he hadn't a care in the world. When he finished he glanced over at her and her husband, smiled politely, and rose from his chair.

"Mr. Rostov, so glad you could join me this evening." Raymond was speaking to Konstatin in a flawless Queen's English accent.

"Mr. Morris. Good to put a face with a voice." Both men shook hand in greeting while Katarina tried to make sense of what was happening.

"Oh Phillip, please, I absolutely insist." It was as though she'd entered some surreal alternate reality. He couldn't be here. It was impossible.

"Well then you in turn must call me 'Konstantin'." Cool blue eyes turned to hers and she felt her felt her heart leap into her throat.

"Thank you, old boy. And this must be your lovely wife." Memory flooded her mind. Her apartment had been decimated: tables flipped, bookshelves knocked to the ground, pictures smashed on the floor. Raymond handcuffed to bed frame at her insistence, his eyes radiating cold fury. " _I will come for you!"_ She'd thought it was an empty threat. She'd been wrong.

"It is. Katarina, Phillip Morris." Katarina forced a smiled and extended her hand, which Raymond took. She experienced a physical shock at the skin to skin contact, her body immediately recalling a time when Raymond had been a good deal less impersonal. There could not have been a less convenient time for her unruly pregnancy hormones.

"It's a pleasure to met you, Phillip." She needed to focus. Raymond was somehow here, face to face with her husband. She needed to deal with the reality.

"I assure you, the pleasure is all mine. Shall we sit?" Konstantin pulled out Katarina's chair and they all settled into their seats.

"So Phillip, I understand you and my husband have some sort of deal in the works." Why was Raymond here? Why the charade? Why hadn't he simply had her abducted?

"Oh, let's not start with business just yet. Not at least you've ordered our drinks." Raymond summoned the waiter. Konstantin ordered a red wine, while Katarina informed the server that she just wanted water. Raymond raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. He seemed to have made the assumption her refraining to partake had to do with his unexpected arrival. That at least was a small blessing.

"To answer your question Katarina, your husband has made what I feel is a very attractive offer to ICI, but my chairman has some concerns. Your government is not known for being friendly to foreign businesses, particularly with nations that don't share its particular economic system." This was accurate and something Konstantin privately bemoaned to her. He claimed that overhaul was needed in order for for the Russian economy to finally thrive.

"Historically you're right, but I can assure you there is a very strong feeling in the party that the time has come to change that. At the end of the day, we're all businessmen, whatever our ideological differences." Konstantin was a great proponent of the reform proposed by the Party's new General Secretary, Mikhail Gorbachev. He firmly believed change was not only possible, but inevitable for their country.

"May I ask you something in the hope you won't take offense?" Katarina narrowed her eyes.

"Don't be disingenuous, Mr. Morris. You already know whether or not it's going to offend him." She suddenly went cold as it occurred to her that perhaps Raymond's intention was to inform Konstantin that he'd been cuckolded.

"Katarina, it's fine. I'm an open book, Phillip. Ask whatever you'd like." Katrina hoped her nerves didn't show in her face. She liked to think that Konstantin would understand if he knew the specifics of the missions she performed, but truthfully she had no idea.

Konstantin knew she was KGB, that was how they'd met. They'd tapped him as a civilian asset to gain entry into a party where many foreign VIPs were in attendance. Katarina had gone undercover as his date and they'd gotten the intel they were looking for. Konstantin had no idea when he'd asked her to dinner that he'd been her primary objective all along. The mission had been crafted to be...clean. Exciting. Romantic even. The uglier aspects her job weren't something she was permitted to share, nor did she want to. She didn't see the harm in letting Konstantin have a sanitized impression of the work she did. Knowing the truth would cause him unnecessary pain.

"How can you, as a businessman be a supporter of the Communist Party after seeing the effect it's had on your country's economy?" Katarina felt the question had been a bit anti-climatic. What was Raymond up to?

"There's an old German proverb, whose English translation I'm sure you've heard: Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Our system may be imperfect in its execution," Konstantin paused and clearly his throat. Was it Katarina's imagination, or was growing paler by the second? "but you can't deny, the nobility of our core ideals. A system where everyone is provided for. I don't think capitalist societies can make that boast."

Raymond raised his glass in salute. "Touche." Konstantin managed a tight smile before abruptly standing.

"If you'll excuse me for a moment?" Raymond nodded his assent and Konstantin strode off towards the Mens. Katarina stared after him, a knot forming in her stomach. Her husband becoming ill so soon after their arrival could not be a coincidence. She spun back to face Raymond.

"What the hell did you do to him?!"

"I didn't do anything. A member of MI-5 however may have slipped something into his wine." Raymond had reverted to his natural accent and a somewhat sardonic tone of voice.

"If you've hurt him, I swear-"

"You really are very good. I'd almost believe you actually cared. You can stow your feigned concern. He'll be fine in a few minutes. I just needed the time to chat with you privately." Katarina considered her words. He had back-up and she was alone on unfriendly foreign soil. He had nothing to gain by hurting Konstantin. Besides she knew Raymond. Killing an innocent man wasn't his style.

"What do you want, Raymond?" Raymond smiled, but it was different from the smiles she's caught herself thinking wistfully of more times than she's like to admit. It was perfectly symmetrical and lacking any warmth.

"You, Katarina. Specifically your skills. Your access. The secrets you have and the secrets you can learn." She blinked. Raymond seemed perfectly serious, but what he was asking was frankly...deranged.

"You want me to spy for you? Betray my country? Are you insane?" Instead of being put-off or offended. Raymond merely chuckled and shook his head. That seemed a bad omen.

"But is Russia really your country? Technically speaking you are an American, born in Alexandria, Virginia, April 15th, 1958. Your parents are illegals, but you are a citizen of the United States of America." Katarina swore her heart stopped. How could he know those things? Private, personal things about her life? Things almost no one knew. It should have been impossible.

She needed to re-focus. Unsettling though it was, ultimately it didn't matter that he knew about where she came from. He clearly had no idea who she was if he thought he could turn her.

"My loyalty is to the motherland. Nothing you could say or do to me will change that." He could abduct her, throw her in deep dark hole, or torture her. She was strong, like her mother. She wouldn't break. Not ever.

"Maybe not. But who said I was going to do anything to you?" There was a coldness in Raymond's voice that Katarina had never heard before and it was frightening.

"If you harm Konstantin-" Raymond waved her off.

"I have no intention of going after your husband. I feel sorry for him. You only used me for a few months. You've been using him for years. No, I'm talking about your father, Frank Richmond. The KGB agent who is defecting as we speak." Katarina's hand flew to her necklace before she could stop herself. Her father had sent her the gift on her 26th birthday. It had been the first time she'd heard from him in eight years. The message had been written in cyrillic, translated mean, "To Katarina. Love, Papa." She hadn't given any kind of a reply. She honestly hadn't known what to say.

"No. My father would never..." Her trailed off. She'd meant to say 'My father would never betray his country,' but she couldn't, not with absolute confidence. As close as she'd thought they'd been growing up, she'd learned at 18 that she hadn't known her father at all.

"Wouldn't he? After all he hasn't exactly felt the same about his homeland after they stole his only child." Katarina felt a chill go through her. How was he doing this? She had never reported her final conversation with her father to anyone, not even within the KGB. Angry as she was, she still had wanted to protect him.

"You don't know anything about my father." She hoped that was true. But, how else could Raymond have known, if her father hadn't told him?

"But I do, because you told me. Remember?" Katarina's mind raced to understand what he meant. Suddenly a memory came to the forefront. It was night. They were on the rooftop of an apartment building that they had lied their way into. Her idea of course. They'd laid on blacket, drank wine, and Raymond had regaled her with story of constellations. She'd loved his tales, his voice. The way his eyes lit up when he looked at her. She'd teased him about his knowledge of astronomy and mythology. Raymond had laughed, but it was a strange laugh. It was sad, and Raymond was never sad.

She'd pressed him about it and he confessed that he'd been thinking about his father, who'd bought him his first star chart. Raymond had shared that his father had died when he was twenty years old and they hadn't been on speaking terms. They'd fought over Raymond's and Carla's decision to remain unmarried, despite Carla's pregnancy. Raymond's father had a heart attack just two weeks before the baby was born. Raymond had been tormented ever since, because the last words they exchanged were in anger.

Katarina had wanted so badly to comfort him, to let him know he wasn't alone. She told him about her fight with her father when she was 18 years old. How he'd kept things from her. How he refused to accept her right to choose her own path. How they hadn't spoken since. That was how Raymond had known. It was probably how he'd found her. He'd found the truth in her lies.

"My father isn't a traitor." Raymond shrugged and took a sip of his scotch.

"That's not what the paperwork will say." Suddenly it all became clear. This was Raymond's play, to fake evidence of treason, in order to coerce actual treason. How ironic.

"You wouldn't..."

"I wouldn't what? Frame a Russian spy responsible for the theft of God knows how much classified information? Who has used and probably killed dozens of citizens and agents of my country?" He would do it. Raymond's moral code would prevent him from harming Konstantin, a relative innocent, but not her father.

"I'll tell them it's a fraud." Even as she said the words, she saw the flaw in them. What good would the word of a daughter be, when she was defending her father? Defection was a huge problem among sleepers and though she hadn't said anything to her superiors, her father had a temper. He probably hadn't kept his displeasure about her recruitment a secret from his handler.

"But will they believe you? Are they as loyal to you as you are to them? Especially when the same papers are being drawn up for you? Not to mention the photographs of this intimate little meeting with your former target, an American intelligence officer. Are you ready to take that risk with his life?" Katarina searched for a flicker of pity in her former lover's eyes, but found none. The man that she'd thought she'd...loved, was putting a gun to both her and her father's heads.

"Raymond, if you want vengeance, take it against me. My father has done nothing to you." Raymond was entitled to hate her after what she'd done to him. If he wanted to pursue retribution, she deserved it. Prison, torture, or execution, she could brave her punishment, so long as it only extended to her.

"Oh my, no Katarina, you misunderstand. I'm not angry with you. Not anymore. You've given me an incredible gift. The gift of clarity. After you disappeared there was an investigation into my degree of culpability. It was not an easy time, but it taught me to appreciate the things I had in my life. Jennifer. Carla. We're getting married next month. I share this with you, so that you can understand that this isn't revenge. This isn't personal. This is just business. Now do we have a deal or don't we?"

Try as she might, Katarina could see nothing of the Raymond she'd known in the man sitting across from her. If his indifference was a performance, it was Oscar-worthy. The truly pathetic thing was that the news about Raymond's upcoming nuptials actually upset her. Granted, not as much as the realisation that she was going to have to choose between her mother's legacy and her father's life, but still a part of her was hurt by it. That was twisted in the extreme.

What should she choose? Katarina's mother had died when she was seven, but that was one of the many things she didn't learn until she was eighteen. Her father had told her a story of her mother running off to Europe with some man, of abandoning them both. It was a fiction. The reality was that her mother been caught while out on a mission. She had broken her cyanide capsule, taking her secrets to the grave.

Katarina's recruiter had shown her the counterintelligence agent's report and the explained the steps the KGB had taken to make Helen Richards disappearance inconspicuously. The recruiter had said it had been necessary to protect her father's cover and Katarina understood that. What she didn't understand was how her father had lied to her for so long. If her father had had his way, Katarina would have lived her whole life as Katherine Richards. She would never have known the truth about her father, or her mother, or who she really was.

When she been asked to serve her mother's country she hadn't hesitated. It made her feel connected to a mother she missed terribly. The KGB had given her a purpose that her life before had been lacking. Intelligence work brought out a part of herself that she'd never known existed. She was good at it. She'd felt as if this was who she was truly meant to be. And yet all of it had cost her her father. The man who had attended countless dance recitals, and taught her to ride a bike. Who'd sat in a department store for hours while she'd struggled to find the perfect prom dress. The man who'd nurtured her through every sickness and heartache of her young life.

"What kind of information are you looking for?" Katarina had never been more thankful she didn't believe in the afterlife. Her mother's ghost would surely never forgive her for what she was about to do.

"I understand you and your husband are acquainted with Mikhail Evseev, one of the researchers at the Novosibirsk Chemical Concentrates Plant. We've learned he brings his work home with him, and keep it in a safe in his home office. I'd like photographs within the week. Reach under the table." Katarina did as he asked and felt a small metal cylinder being pressed into her palm. "Key chain camera. CIA issue. You'll be contacted about where to dead drop." Katarina barely had time to put the device in her purse before she heard her husband's voice behind her.

"I'm sorry, Phillip, I'm feeling a little worse for the wear. I'm going to have to cut our evening short." Every inch the gentleman, Raymond stood as Katarina pushed herself up from the table.

"Do feel better, old boy. Katarina, it was enchanting to meet you. I hope to see you both very soon." Katarina could feel Raymond's eyes on her as she exited the restaurant. Strange how before this evening a part of her had desperately wanted to see Raymond again. Be careful what you wish for.


	3. Perspective

Raymond Reddington had heard that Moscow in winter was a sight to behold, and perhaps it would have been if he could see more than three feet in front of his face. His plane had just barely made it to Vnukovo International Airport before the snowstorm of the century had decided to hit. He'd been fortunate to find a driver willing to take him into the heart of the city. Reddington didn't mind forking over the extra cash it had taken to convince the man to risk it, not if it got him where he needed to go.

Reddington trudged forward, until he found himself at the base of the steps which lead to the Leningradskaya Hotel. Up he climbed, one foot after the other, with no thought in his head besides his final destination. Upon entering the lobby a distant part of his mind noted the monumental bronze sculptures and Socialist Realist murals. This building was designed to be a testament to the glories of communism and the Soviet Union. He couldn't help feeling the money would have been better spent feeding its people, but then he was just a capitalist pig, so what did he know.

Thoughts about his mission blew through his mind faster and more relentlessly than the snow outside. He moved like a machine, taking care of the mundane tasks of checked in, finding his hotel room, and unpacking room. In what seemed like the blink of an eye he found himself sitting alone on the edge of his bed, desperately wishing for a drink.

He'd had one on the plane from London to Moscow, just to calm his nerves, but it didn't seem to be having any measurable effect. Learning he might be about to become a father for a second time would put any man on edge. Taking into consideration that the mother of his potential child was the KGB who had used and betrayed him, Raymond felt he was handling things fairly well.

He felt like a fool for not having seen it when he'd seen Sara…no, Katarina, had been in that restaurant. Looking back she'd been slightly heavier than she'd been before. Her breasts had been fuller. She'd ordered water and not wine. The signs had been there, he'd just hadn't seen them. His focus had been on other things.

Raymond was surprised how difficult it had been to sit across from the spy who'd betrayed him. The fury, he'd expected. That was natural after everything she'd done to him. He'd anticipated it, along with the satisfaction he'd gotten from bending her to his will. She'd taken his pride and he had taken it back. What he hadn't expected was the jealousy he'd felt being presented to her husband.

Raymond had hated the unconscious way Konstantin touched Katarina. How he'd looked her with admiration, and love. The Russian businessman clearly was smitten with his wife. Equally clear was that Katarina was genuinely fond of him. He'd replayed the scene from the restaurant many times in his head, and each time drawn the same conclusion. Konstantin mattered to the KGB agent. She became angry when she perceived a threat being made against him. Raymond had no doubt Katarina was using her spouse, but the relationship held an element of legitimacy and that inexplicably pissed him off. Well, perhaps not so inexplicably.

There was a small part of him that, despite his best efforts, held on to the dream of Sara. In the weeks he'd spent sifting through every word she'd ever said, he'd found the clues that had ultimately led him to Katherine Richards. There had been truth in her deceptions and it had made him wonder if other things hadn't been quite as counterfeit as they appeared.

God, he was an idiot. The woman was a liar and traitor both to his country and to him. He had a wife. He shouldn't care one way or the other how Katarina had felt about him while she was stabbing him in the back. The fact that he did just proved why he should turn over his leverage to someone else.

Despite what he'd told Katarina, he was the only one who knew about her real identity as Katherine Richards. He was the only one who knew about her father. By keeping the information to himself, he'd made it impossible for the higher ups to remove him as her handler. He'd told himself he'd held the intel back to ensure he had full control over the situation, but deep down he wondered if that was really why he'd done it. Perhaps the truth was that, despite what she'd done, how horribly she'd treated him, he just couldn't let her go. Finding out about Katarina's pregnancy only made things worse.

Katarina hadn't passed on any new intelligence for five weeks, and Reddington had become concerned that something had happened. He'd contacted Konstantin Rostov and mentioned he was planning a short trip to Moscow very soon. Rostov immediately had recommended what he considered the best hotel, stating that his wife was currently staying there and would continue to do so until she delivered their first child.

Raymond hadn't heard much of anything the Russian businessman had said after that. A child. A child expected to be delivered within the month. A child that could be his or Rostov's. Raymond heard himself arranging to meet Rostov when he flew in for dinner, before he could even weigh the wisdom of what he was doing. Now here he was, thousands of miles from home, in an enemy nation, on a mission to…what? Discover why his asset wasn't producing results? He knew why. She was well into her third trimester. Pregnancy and espionage didn't exactly mix.

No matter what he'd told his superiors, he wasn't here on his country's behalf, he was here on his own. He was here because he needed an answer. One way or the other he had to know.

Raymond went to the hotel phone and had the front desk connect him to Katarina Rostova's room.

"Zdravstvuyte?" Hearing Katarina's voice speak Russian was an odd experience. It was the language of the enemy spoken by a voice that he'd once loved.

"Hello, Mrs. Rostova. It's Phillip Morris. Your husband told you I'd be calling I presume?" There was a short pause on the other end of the line before she assumed the appropriate tone for the wife of a Russian businessman speaking to one of her husband's associates.

"Yes, he did. He told me you had plans for dinner, but given the state of the weather, I doubt he'll be able to fly out tonight." That worked out nicely. He'd be free to meet with Katarina tonight, and tomorrow morning claim to be called back to London on a business emergency.

"That's a shame. By the way, I've been remiss in offering my congratulations. Your husband told me you're expecting." Another pause, this time longer. Konstantin must not have mentioned they'd discussed her pregnancy.

"Thank you." Did the terse reply mean she was trying not to give anything away or was Raymond reading too much into it?

"Since we're both stuck here for the night, I hope you'll join me for dinner. I do so hate eating alone."

"I was planning to eat in my room." Raymond wasn't sure if the reply was meant to put him off, but he didn't much care. He'd flown eleven hours to get there, not counting the connections, and they were meeting whether she liked it or not.

"Perfect. I'll order us both some room service and have it delivered there." He hung up before she could come up with any polite excuses.

Raymond unzipped his brief case and remove a rectangular package wrapped in light yellow paper. He stared at the gift a moment and wondered if he was making a terrible mistake. Would confronting Katarina do any good at all? She might not knowing who the baby's father was any more than he did. If she did know, he couldn't trust her to tell him the truth. Would he be able to tell if she was lying? Did he really even want an answer? Even if the child was his, biologically, he couldn't exactly sue for custody. Wouldn't it better to assume the baby was Konstantin's? No, he hadn't come all this way to hide in his room like a coward. He needed the truth, no matter how much it complicated things.

Within six minutes he found himself knocking on the door to her suite. After thirty seconds door swung open revealing a very pregnant Katarina in a loose pink maternity dress. Raymond held out the baby gift. Katarina's eyes flickered to the hotel's security camera before accepting.

"How thoughtful. Please do come in." She stepped aside and allowed him entry. Raymond took in the size of the suite, at least twice what his own room had been. Rostov may have been a communist, but apparently he was a damn wealthy one if he could afford to keep his wife here for weeks on end.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Now that they were out of sight of the cameras, Katarina's gracious smile had been replaced with a snarl.

Raymond casually dropped onto one of the room's couches. Giving the impression he was at home in the environment gave him a level of ownership over it. "You haven't made a dead drop in six weeks." It wasn't the actual answer to her question, but it sounded like it was, which was good enough for the moment. He didn't want to lead with the real reason he'd come. The last thing he wanted was for Katarina to suspect how much he wanted know whether or not she was carrying his child.

"Because I have nothing to report. I'm not exactly on active duty right now." He'd assumed as much, but for some reason he felt like arguing the point with her.

"You're always on duty as Rostov's wife. You have access to several of your governments' leaders, not to mention the top businessmen, and scientists. You haven't managed to overhear anything of potential value?" Katarina's glower became even more pronounced.

"Hard as it may be to imagine, people don't walk to me in the middle of social occasions and reveal classified information." She didn't like his implication that she was either lazy or incompetent. That was interesting. He found himself wanting to push her even further towards anger. Pregnancy was supposed to be an emotional time for women. If he was ever going to get a sincere reaction from her, it would be now.

"Of course not. You seek them out. You gain their trust. Their friendship. Their sympathy. Just because pillowtalk happens to be your specialty, it does mean it's the only kind of intelligence worth gathering." Did he imagine it, or had her nostrils actually flared?

"If you're going to call me a whore, Raymond, have the courtesy to do so directly." Her voice was tight with barely contained anger. He wondered if she even realized she'd used his given name.

"Given our history, do you really think you're in a position to express outrage?" His pulse was starting to accelerate, though his voice remained steady. He needed to be careful, or he'd be the one losing his temper.

"Why is it that when a female operative uses her sexuality to help her country, she's a prostitute and when a man does it, he's James Bond?" Was she really trying to compare herself to 007?

"James Bond didn't work for the KGB." James Bond wasn't working for the Evil Empire, he was trying to save the world. The difference was considerable.

"Only because he was written by a British subject. If Ian Fleming had been Russian, the hero would have served the Motherland, not the Queen. Good and evil are often a matter of perspective, particularly in the world of espionage." Perspective? Was she kidding?

"Is that how you justify what you did to me?" Damn it, why had he asked that? He had put so much effort into projecting indifference, and ruined it by acting like a spurned lover.

"Yes. I took a vow to serve my country, just like you took a vow to serve yours." Katarina's eyes bored into his, as though she was trying to express something she was incapable of putting into words. She looked at him like this once before, when she'd had him handcuff himself to the headboard in her apartment. He'd threatened vengeance, despite knowing that if she chose, his lover could permanently ensure he never had the chance to seek it. She hadn't. Instead she'd lowered the gun and he'd seen something in her gaze that at the time he couldn't name. Then she'd run out, and left him there.

What did she want from him? To accept what she'd done? To understand? If so, that was too bad, because he didn't. He couldn't.

"But this isn't your country! You were born in the US! You lived there for 18 years as Katherine Richards. What was so terrible about it that you decided you just had to enlist with its enemy when even your own father didn't want you to?!" What did that say, when a man who'd dedicated his life to serving Russia, didn't want his daughter to follow in his footsteps? Why had Katherine decided to become Katarina? It didn't make sense.

"That's none of your business." Was Katarina of all people advocating a person's right to secrets? She might have thought of that before she'd ferreted out all of his.

"Was it your mother?" Katarina wore an expression like she'd been slapped. A direct hit then. "Did she convince you go into the family business? I know she took off when you were seven. Was she re-assigned? Did the KGB decide one parent was enough to manage their investment? When you old enough and your father wouldn't give you up, did they sent her to convince you? Was that what happened?" Raymond was shocked to see the tears welling in corner of Katarina's eyes. Sara hadn't been the crying kind, and he imagined KGB agent Rostova was even less so.

"You really want to know Raymond? You want to know what my mother did to convince me to left my old life behind? Everyone I'd ever loved?" A strange sense of foreboding shot through him. Whatever answer he chose would affect the way he saw the woman before him. To say 'no' would mean remaining ignorant of why the woman he loved had betrayed so utterly. To say 'yes' could mean understanding the pain of someone he needed to see as his enemy.

"Yes." Katarina nodded slowly and took a long deep breath, her hands resting on her pregnant belly.

"She died. She was on a mission and she was caught by counterintelligence officers. She broke a cyanide capsule in her tooth so she couldn't be tortured into exposing my father or giving away secrets. The worse part was that for eleven years he let me think she had chosen to abandon me. That she was off living somewhere with a new family and she'd forgotten all about me. I hated her for it! He let me hate her! She had died protecting us and he let me hate her!" Katarina's eyes, now streaming with tears, suddenly widened and she clutched her stomach.

"Katarina?" She looked at him with an expression of fear that seemed so out of place on her face.

"I think my water just broke."


	4. No One Else

It felt as though the frigid air from the storm outside had found its way into Raymond's heart. The snow, which had seemed so fortuitous earlier, was now his enemy. The streets of Moscow had been closed on account of the raging blizzard and the forecast predicted it would not let up for at least the next 12 hours. The hospital and the famed Moscow doctors Konstantin Rostov had wanted for his wife's delivery were impossible for her to reach. She would give birth this hotel instead and thus far he'd hadn't been able to find a single medical professional to help deliver the baby. He'd bullied the concierge into cold calling guest rooms in the hope of finding someone qualified and had himself started knocked on doors. Some guests had been sympathetic, others had been irritated, but no one had been useful.

Raymond banged on what felt like the millionth door, ignoring the 'do not disturb' sign. After a minute, when he'd received no answer he pounded again. Katarina was giving birth and whether it was his child or not fate had placed the responsibility of its safe delivery on him. He would not go back to that suite empty handed. The door was suddenly jerked opened and a tall blonde woman with a sour expression greeted him.

"Vy slepoy?! (Are you blind?!)" Raymond took in the woman's silk rope and flushed expression and deduced he'd interrupted a rather intimate interlude. Unfortunate as that was, he couldn't risk either she or her partner was the answer to his prayers.

"Mne ochen' zhal' preryvat' svoy vecher, no mne nuzhen vrach ili akusherka. Sushchestvuyet zhenshchina rozhayet, i ona ne mozhet popast' v bol'nitsu. (I am very sorry to interrupt your evening, but I need a doctor or a midwife. There is a woman giving birth and she can't get to the hospital.)" The anger left the woman's face and for a long moment she stared at Raymond, dueling emotions struggling on her face. Finally she shook her head.

"Mne ochen' zhal', ya ne mogu vam pomoch'. (I'm sorry, I can't help you.)" She started to close the door, but Raymond caught it with his hand. He didn't know what was going on, but the woman knew something. He saw the wedding ring on her finger and noted her husband hadn't come to the door. She was having an affair and the hidden lover was the one with the skills to help Katarina.

"Pozhaluysta, net nikogo. Pozhaluysta. (Please, there's no one else. Please.)" After a moment a small robed figure appeared behind the blonde. It was a woman in her late thirties to early forties. Petite frame, shoulder length brown hair. Shrewd eyes peering at him from behind wire frames.

"YA budu s vami v minutu. (I'll be with you in a minute.)" The door closed and Raymond could hear the sound of an argument taking place behind the door. Two minutes later the small woman emerged, wearing a dark dress, heels, and a serious expression.

"Spasibo. (Thank you.)" Raymond truly meant it. The two women faced far more than social disgrace if their relationship was discovered. Attitudes toward homosexuality may have become more liberalized following the death of Stalin, but homosexual acts were still considered a crime. She was risking a lot to help him.

"Otvezite menya k materi. (Take me to the mother.)" Raymond nodded and together they hurried to the elevator. Along the way the woman asked him questions about the contractions, and how far along Katarina was. When they reached the door to the suite she asked him him directly if he was the father.

That was the question of the hour. "YA delovoy partner yeye muzha. (I'm a business associate of her husband.)" A quick pause made Raymond think she had noticed he hadn't answered directly 'yes' or 'no'. Sharp woman.

The woman gave him a long list of necessary supplies that he was in charge of procuring. The second he nodded his understanding she dismissed him like a general who'd issued her orders and took for granted that they would be followed to the letter. She disappeared into the room and he ran off to assemble the list of requested items. It felt good to be doing something productive.

Raymond had little trouble rallying the hotel staff to his cause. Maids and butlers delivered everything on the woman's list and a few things that weren't, such as snacks and candles. Eventually there was nothing left to take care off and Raymond had found himself staring at the door to the suite. Should he go in or not?

Katarina probably didn't want him there. He had only been her target and now he was her blackmailer. Whether or not the child she carried was technically his, he doubted his presence would bring her anything resembling comfort. There was also the danger for himself. If he shared this experience with Katarina it would change the way he saw her. It would affect how he felt about the baby. He'd already crossed one line by interrogating her about her past. Did he really want to cross another? The wedding ring on his finger was an unsubtle reminder that he already had a family he had committed to. Carla and Jennifer had to be his priority. Allowing himself to get closer than he already was was a mistake. Raymond put his back to the wall and slide down. He'd wait here, at a safe distance.

Raymond didn't know how long he sat there before he drifted off, but before he knew it he was being shaken awake. "Vstavay. U nas yest' problemy. (Wake up. We have a problem.)" Raymond blinked the sleep from his eyes. "Rebenok kazennoy. (The baby is breech.)" Breech? That meant backwards. That baby was coming out backwards. That was dangerous. "Ona v neskol'kikh minutakh ot dostavki. Ochen' vazhno, chto ona ostavat'sya rasslablennym, ili mogut byt' oslozhneniya. Vy dolzhny pomoch' yey cherez eto. (She's minutes away from delivering. It is essential she stay relaxed, or there may be complications. You need to help her through this.)" Reddington mind and body froze. Him? He was probably the last person in the world Katarina wanted helping her.

"YA na samom dele ne tot chelovek, chtoby ... My pochti ne znayem drug druga. (I'm not really the right person to...We hardly know each other.)" The small woman's lips pinched together in an expression of grim determination.

"Tsitiruya sobstvennyye slova, Dorogusha: 'net nikogo'. (To quote your own words, Dearie: 'there is no one else.')" Raymond nodded and forced himself to plow forward into the room. Katarina sitting in the room's arm chair, legs spread wide. Her forehead was dotted with perspiration from the effort of labor, and her breathing was ragged. When she saw him, she grimaced and closed her eyes.

"Of course it's you." Not exactly the warmest of welcomes, but then he hadn't really expected one.

"You were hoping for your husband?" Raymond glanced outside and saw the snow had actually let up a great deal. He'd called Konstantin himself hours ago and the expectant father had sworn he'd get the first flight out.

"It was supposed to be him." He crossed the room until he was standing by Katarina's side. The small woman wordlessly moved into delivery position.

"Too bad, you're stuck with me. Now you need to relax and breath. Your child needs you." Katerina managed a short, pained laugh.

"My child? You mean my curse. My punishment for every terrible thing I've ever done." Her face pinched in pain. Raymond got onto his knees and wordlessly held out his hand to his ex-lover. After a split second's hesitation she took it and squeezed. He tried valiantly not to wince. Her grip was quite a bit stronger than Carla's had been.

When the contraction ended he took a towel and wiped her forehead. "A child is never a curse. A child, even an unplanned one, is a blessing. I speak from experience." When Carla had become pregnant Raymond had felt trapped. His future felt fixed at 20 years old. Now he considered Jennifer one of the greatest gifts he'd received.

Katarina groaned in pain.

"Pora. (It's time.)"

Sheer panic flashed across Katarina's face. "No! I can't do this. Not here. Not like this." Her eyes were wild and desperate.

"You have no other choice." Katrina's grip on his hand tightened. He was probably going to need an x-ray when all this was done.

"I can't be a mother. I only did this for Konstantin and he'd not even here. I can't do this alone." Raymond reached out with his free hand and stroked her hair.

"You're not alone. I'm here. Together, we can do this." In that moment he didn't see his betrayer when he looked at Katarina, he just saw a woman. The same woman he'd felt connected to since the first moment he'd laid eyes on her. The only woman he'd ever been in love with. That she hadn't felt the same didn't matter. That she'd betrayed him didn't matter. That he was married to someone else didn't matter. He was certain it would eventually, but for now she needed him and he wasn't going to let her down.

Raymond didn't know how much of what he felt passed from his eyes to Katarina's, but some of the panic seemed to leave her.

"Okay." Katarina groaned in effort as she began to push. After about a minute, the small Russian woman looked up sharply.

"Khorosho, dorogusha, mne nuzhno, chtoby rasslabit'sya i ne tuzhit'sya. (Alright, Dearie, I need you to relax and not push.)" Katarina looked at the petite brunette as though she were insane.

"Relax and not push? Are you kidding me?!" The woman shook her head.

"Rebenok vykhodit v obratnom napravlenii. Ona nuzhdayetsya v kislorode i vashi myshtsy budut zablokirovany. (The baby is coming out backwards. It needs oxygen and your muscles are locked.)" Fear once again flooded Katarina's beautiful features. Raymond felt an echoing terror that he prayed didn't show in his face.

"Look at me. Squeeze my hand as tight as you can. Focus on my voice. Breath." Katarina nodded and tried to do as he asked, but Raymond could tell it was an effort. She needed to be distracted. "Have you chosen a name?"

"Konstantin likes 'Masha'. It's the name of his great aunt." Masha. It was a girl.

"Nice of you to let him have a say." Was it because she hadn't wanted the baby that she'd acquiesced to her husband preference? Had she not cared?

"You didn't have one?" Raymond smiled ruefully.

"No. Carla wanted the name 'Jennifer'. I prefered 'Elizabeth'. 'Lizzy.' However after nine months of carrying our daughter and twelve hours of labor, Carla had the last word on the subject." It was only fair, really. He'd done his best to be there for Jennifer, but Carla was the one who's sacrificed her own career to raise her. She had more than earned the right to be the final authority on all matters great and small concerning their daughter.

"I'm sorry." Katarina's words were thick with pain. Strange that she offering him sympathy on such a minor disappoint, especially at the present a moment.

"It was just a name." Katarina shook her head, tears in her eyes as she looked at him.

"No. I mean...I'm sorry. For everything." Raymond had no idea what to say to that. In that instant he would have bet his life that she was telling the truth, that Katarina was genuinely remorseful for her actions towards him. He believed her...he just didn't know if he had it in him to forgive her.

"Khorosho, prishlo vremya. Ot sebya! (Alright, it's time. Push!)" The woman's voice broke through the moment, and once again Katarina yelled with the effort of labor. Seconds later the sound of a baby crying filled the hotel suite. Raymond's heart soared, his crushed fingers momently forgotten.

"U vas yest' devochka. (You have a baby girl.)" The midwife...or doctor? Nurse? Funny, he hadn't really asked...made quick work of cleaning and swaddling the infant. She gently laid the child into Katarina's arms. He and Katarina both peered into the tiny bundle.

"She's so small." Katarina's voice was filled with the wonder Raymond was feeling, staring into the beautiful blue eyes of the baby.

"She's perfect." An overwhelming swell of love swept over Raymond as he reached down for the tiny hand poking out of the blankets. Small delicate fingers latched onto his index.

"Yes, she is. Hello Masha. I'm your mother. YA tvoya mat'." He looked over at Katarina and found that she was beaming at the newborn. Her exhaustion did nothing to dim her radiance as she gazed at her daughter with undiluted adoration. Katarina's looked up at him, tears of joy in her eyes, "You were right. She is a blessing." He found himself smiling back at her. Every drop of anger or bitterness had fled him. It was as if his heart had forced out every negative feeling to make way for the overwhelming joy he was experiencing.

"Hello Masha. I'm Raymond. Raymond Reddington. So nice to meet you." Raymond glanced up at the small dark haired woman who had been silently observing them. He'd expected her to be sharing in the moment's triumph, but her expression was solemn, almost fearful. Was she worried he was going to expose her after what she'd done for him? For Katarina? For Masha?

He took a step toward her and the woman took a small step back. A dark tendril of unease wound through him. Something wasn't right. The woman hadn't been afraid of him before, when he'd been a strange man knocking on her hotel room door, or when she'd found him in the hallway. What had changed?

Raymond reviewed the last few minutes, everything she'd seen him do and say, trying to identify what had spooked her. It didn't make sense. He certainly hadn't done anything violent. He'd hadn't threatened or bullied or cursed. Everything he'd said had been in English so it wasn't like she would have even known what he was saying...But she had understood. He was certain of it. Katarina had yelled at the woman, in English, and the woman had responded.

Panic began to fill him as he realised that he hadn't just spoken English, he'd spoken American accented English. And just now he had used his real name, not the name of his cover identity. He'd never given her his alias, but Katarina had been in the room for hours, not to mention the floor manager, the hotel manager, or any of the other dozen people who'd been in and out while he'd waited outside. If someone had told her he was a British businessman named Phillip Morris and then she'd heard him with an American accent call himself Raymond Reddington it wouldn't take a huge leap for her to realise the truth. God how could he have been so stupid?

"Mne nuzhno idti. (I have to go.)" The woman moved purposefully to the door and Raymond followed only a step behind.

"Wait..Thank you...I'm sorry I never asked your name." He held out a hand for her to shake, seeing if she would take the bait. She paused a moment before taking it.

"Katya." Damn it. He hadn't wanted to be right. He couldn't let her leave, not when everything in her body language was screaming the she was terrified of him. If she exposed him, he and Katarina would die. Masha would lose her mother. From the moment Raymond had looked into little girl's eyes, he had known he was willing to do anything for the new life that he had witnessed entering the world. Katya hadn't done anything wrong, the opposite really, and yet that didn't matter. She was a threat to Masha, therefore she had to be contained.


	5. Worth It

Katarina held her new baby with her left hand and a gun with her right. Not even an hour into motherhood and she was already a monumental failure. She'd had no choice in exposing her daughter to violence so soon into her young life. The woman, Katya, had been trying to leave when Raymond had taken into his head to restrain her.

As Raymond struggled to subdue the small woman, Katarina had reached for her copy of _War and Peace_ that had been resting on the end table. She'd flipped open the massive book, removed her small pistol from the hollowed out center, and pointed it at the nurse who had saved her baby's life. That had fortunately ended the fight, though not Masha's crying.

"Eto v poryadke moya dorogaya. Vse v poryadke. _(It's alright my darling. Everything's alright.)_ " Of course that wasn't strictly true. Raymond was currently securing a hostage to a chair in her hotel room using ripped bedsheets. There was no way this ended well. The only blessing, if you could call it that, was that the hotel had upgraded occupants of the suite next door. Another stroke of good fortune was that the hotel staff had been ordered, by Katya herself, to cease their hovering and not come up to the room unless they were called. Katarina and Raymond had a little time to sort out whatever the hell it was he had gotten them into.

Raymond finished his final knot, which Katarina assumed he'd learned in the Naval Academy, and looked over at her.

"Plan on lowering that?" Raymond gestured to the gun. Katarina set the weapon on the table and adjusted her hold on Masha.

"Plan on telling me why you decided to take Katya hostage?" She hoped there was a damn good reason Raymond had suddenly decided to attack the woman who had just delivered her child.

"She knows. She can speak English. She heard my accent. She heard me say my name." Shit. Katarina searched her recent memory and realised he was right. How could he have been so stupid? To fair, she hadn't been much better, given that she hadn't even notice his slips, let alone Katya's reaction to them.

"Do you have a plan?" The look Raymond gave her made Katarina instantly regret her words. It was a ridiculous question. Of course there was no plan. How could there be?

"I don't know. I assume you've been in these kind of situations more than I have." They looked at each other a moment and Katarina had no doubt they were both revisiting the same memory.

Something had been off about Raymond when come to visit her at her apartment that night nine months ago. When he'd entered and she'd greeted him with a kiss, he'd been withdrawn somehow. When she'd asked him what was wrong, he'd told her he'd had a rough day at work and changed the subject.

Hours later, when she'd believed Raymond had been sound asleep, she'd slipped out of bed and gone to the front hall to go through his briefcase as she'd done so many times before. She'd been nearly finished when she'd heard the gun cock behind her.

"If you're going to kill me, get it over with." Katya's voice interrupted the painful recollection. Katarina looked at the woman who'd saved her daughter's life. The nurse's English was impressive, as unaccented as her own.

"No one is going to kill you." Loyal though Katarina was to the KGB...or had been prior to her deal with Raymond...there had always been a line she'd sworn to herself she'd never cross. There was a difference between killing enemy combatants and killing civilians. She wouldn't betray that principle to save her herself.

Katarina felt Raymond's penetrating gaze upon her. She met his stare with a defiant one of her own. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Raymond shrugged, his face unreadable. He kept his voice low enough that his words couldn't be heard by their hostage. "I was just trying to determine whether or not you actually meant that." Katarina glared at her former lover.

"I have never killed anyone who hasn't deserved it and I'm not going to start now." Raymond of all people should know her better than that. When he'd caught her and she subdued him, his life had been completely in her hands. Her KGB instructors would have told her to kill him, wipe down the apartment and vanish. She hadn't, choosing instead to let an enemy of her country, and the only person on Earth who could identify her as a Russian spy live.

"Not even to protect your daughter?" Katarina's heart skipped a beat as she looked down at the tiny human she cradled in her arms. Masha's crying had stopped and she was looking up at Katarina with large innocent eyes. Her heart ached in her chest, as though it was growing to accommodate the love that filled her. The idea of her child being endangered stirred a primal fear and fury. If it was a choice between Katya's life and Masha's, would she make that trade? She honestly wasn't sure. Fortunately those weren't the current stakes.

"Masha's life isn't in danger. No matter what you think of the KGB, they don't slaughter babies in their cradles." Despite what Raymond thought, Russia was no more evil the United States. They wouldn't hold Masha accountable for what Katarina had done.

"Maybe not, but they would kill her mother." Katarina looked up sharply at Raymond. What was that emotion she had heard behind his words? Anger? Fear? Was it possible that after everything he still cared whether she lived or died?

"Then that's the price I pay." Raymond's expression hardened and he started to pace.

"No. We are going to sneak you both out of the hotel." Katarina blinked. How exactly did he plan on doing that? Was he going to smuggle her and Masha out in a laundry basket?

"Raymond, I just gave birth. I am in no condition to sneak anywhere. Besides you'd never be able to secure safe passage out for me and Masha in time. The roads are clearing. Konstantin could be here within the hour. If he finds me gone, he'll report me missing." What he was suggesting was impossible given the timeframe and their lack of preparedness. Raymond absentmindedly ran a hand through his light brown hair.

"I could smuggle Katya out of the hotel...find somewhere to hold her until I can come up with an exit strategy." That was possibly even more absurd than his first suggestion.

"What exit strategy? The US is not going to grant me witness protection for the information I've given them so far. You and I both know that." Even if by some miracle she escaped Russia, without fake IDs and paper she couldn't possibly outrun the KGB. She had betrayed the cause. They would hunt her to the ends of the Earth.

"What would you suggest?!" Raymond snapped, apparently fresh out of hare-brained schemes to save her. She understood his anger wasn't really directed at her, at least for the moment. Raymond was furious with himself. He felt responsible her predicament and incensed that he couldn't think of a way of it. Failure was a rare experience for him. The simple truth was that there was no solution to the problem he was trying to solve. She couldn't be saved, not by him, not by anyone.

"Tie her up, gag her. Put her in the closet. Your bonafides aren't compromised yet. You can be out the country in a few hours. By the time Katya's discovered, you'll be long gone." Her fate was sealed, but his wasn't. She could buy Raymond the time he'd need to get to safety. Once he was back on US soil he wouldn't be pursued.

"What about you?" Did he really need her to say aloud what they both knew to be true?

"I knew the risks when I took your deal. We both did." Raymond looked away from her, but not before she caught a flash of pain in his eyes. Raymond wasn't as cold as she'd believed him to be that night in the restaurant. Her betrayal hadn't hardened his heart the way she'd feared it had.

"So that's it? You're just going to give up?" His voice was hollow. He still wasn't looking at her. She wished he would.

"There is no scenario where I make it out of this alive. At least this way you don't have to die with me."

"What about Masha? Are you really going to let her grow up without a mother?" Did he honestly think Katarina wanted to die and leave her daughter behind? Nothing could be further from the truth. The truth. That was it. She needed tell him, so he could fully understand what was at stake.

"Better that she loses just her mother than both of her parents." Katarina had wondered, in the agonizing months since she'd learned her child's true paternity, if Raymond would believe her if she told him that he was the father of her child. She waited to him to demand proof or call her a liar. He did neither.

"Konstantin doesn't know?" Katarina gave a small sad laugh at the thought. No, of course Konstantin didn't know. Even if she hadn't been ordered by her superiors to remain silent, she never would have told him. She had already betrayed Konstantin in body and heart. How could she steal his joy at the prospect of fatherhood? The date of conception that her doctor had given confirmed her fear that her husband was not Masha's biological parent, but it was close enough that Masha's arrival wouldn't be suspiciously premature.

"No. And fortunately you both have Type B blood." That was one blessing she could count on in all of this. Exposure would not come through happenstance. Konstantin wouldn't learn the truth unless he went looking for it or someone told him.

If Katarina was exposed as a traitor, the government's first order of business would be to sever her ties to Konstantin. They wouldn't want her husband to use his political influence to interfere with Katarina's sentencing, so they'd turn him against her any way they could. Revealing the fact she'd attempted to pass off the illegitimate child of her American lover as his daughter might prove effective. What would happen to Masha then? Would Konstantin still choose to raise her? Would he find her a suitable home? Or would she become a ward of the state?

"May I hold her?" Katarina passed the baby to Raymond and he cradled her tenderly to his chest. His soft expression squeezed her heart painfully. He bent down and whispered to the newborn, "I'm not going to let anything happen to you." Tears threatened to spill out of Katarina's eyes.

Maybe she should give Masha to Raymond. Not to raise, that would be to much to ask, but to deliver to Masha's grandfather. Raymond would even be able to visit her. Masha could grow up knowing at least one of her parents.

Raymond finally looked up at Katarina and then over and Katya. He passed Masha back to Katarina, "Take her for a moment."

Katarina frowned as Raymond strolled over to Katya. The woman had been well secured, each of her limbs tied to a chair arm or leg. Raymond started pulling at the knot that held their prisoner's right wrist in place. When he finished untying the first binding, he moved on to the other arm. What was he doing?

Leaving Katya's legs still secured, Raymond returned to Katarina and took Masha back from her. Next he strode over and carefully laid the infant in Katya's arms. Katarina pushed down her feelings of panic and remained silent. She prayed Raymond knew what he was doing.

"Katya, my name is Raymond Reddington. I'm an American counterintelligence officer. The woman whose child you delivered is Katarina Rostova. She's a KGB operative who, under orders from your government, seduced me in order to gain classified information on the United States. The newborn you are now holding in your arms is the result of that mission. She is not at fault for my actions or Katarina's, but she will suffer for them if you do not protect her now." He was trying to turn Katya by appealing to her sympathy for Masha. It was a hail Mary at best. The penalties for failing to report treasonous behavior were steep. It was a lot to risk, even for a child.

"You're asking me to commit treason against my country." Katya's tone was as hard as her hold on Masha was gentle.

"A country that doesn't accept you, that would imprison you simply for being who you are. I can get you out of here. A new life in the United States." Katarina didn't understand the first part of Raymond's appeal, but Katya apparently did. She looked down at Masha, her lips pressed together.

"What about my wife, Anastasia and Mura, my sister? Can you get papers for them?" Wife? Understanding dawned upon Katarina. If Katya was homosexual, she was undoubtedly disenchanted with her government. Their policy toward the gay community was unspeakably cruel. Perhaps Raymond's plan wasn't as far-fetched as she'd first believed.

"Yes." Raymond's reply was immediate. He was either extremely confident in his powers of persuasion or lying his ass off. Katya's snort indicated that she believed the latter.

"You'd say anything to save her wouldn't you? To save both of them."

"Yes." Again Raymond's answer had come swiftly and surely. Katarina found herself wondering if it was really true. Raymond was obviously trying to protect her as well as Masha, but why? Was it simply guilt? Was it for their daughter's sake? Or could he possibly still care for her, despite what she'd done to him?

"So what reassurances do I have, apart from the word of an American spy, that you'll keep your promise?"

"The same that I have that the second I let you out those doors, you won't go straight to the police. None." This entire plan was built on trust. A mutual agreement binding both sides by nothing but honor.

Katya rocked Masha as they all sat in silence. "Neschastnaya devushka. Vy ne zasluzhivayete etogo. _(Poor girl. You don't deserve this.)_ " Katya sighed and she looked up at Raymond. "My name Katya Koslova. I work at Sklifosovsky hospital. I expect to hear from you soon." She passed Raymond the baby and bent down to undo the rest of her restraints. Katarina held her breath as Katya stood and exited the room without another word to either of them.

The second the door closed, Katarina turned to Raymond. "You should go. If she betrays us-"

"She won't." Raymond gently set Masha down inside the crib the hotel staff had carried up hours before.

"You don't know that. If you leave now you'll be safe. You can make it out of the country before the KGB catches on." Raymond said nothing, he simply walked over to her and without a word of warning, scooped her up in his arms.

"What are you doing?!" Raymond began walking toward the bedroom, apparently not caring about her soiled post-labor state.

"You need to rest. Unless you'd prefer a bath first." His tone was very impersonal, as though he was her nurse, rather than her target, turned lover, turned handler.

"I'd prefer you leave the country before you get arrested and shot." Raymond gently lowered her onto the bed. He began to lift her legs to pull down the cover, but she pulled them up to her chest and did it herself. She wasn't a child, or an invalid, for heaven's sake.

"I'm not leaving you here." She knew that tone of Raymond's only to to well. As her father would say, 'the man could teach stubbornness classes to jackasses'. It wouldn't do any good to get angry. She had to be calm and appeal to Raymond's reason.

"I know I'm your asset and you feel some kind of responsibility for me, but your being here won't help one way or the other. You have a wife and daughter who need you to come home to them." That should get his attention. Katarina knew how much Raymond loved Jennifer. He'd seen it the first day he'd come to pick his daughter up from her class. The girl's face had lit up as she'd run to her father and he'd caught her and spun her around in the air. He'd listened with rapt attention as Jennifer had shared with him all the details of her day with the bubbly enthusiasm known only to the young. It was the first moment Katarina had really seen Raymond as something more than her target.

"I said 'no'." Raymond started to head for the doorway, intent on leaving the room, though apparently not the suite. No argument, no discussion. He was going to throw his life away for nothing and he expected her to just let him. The temper she'd inherited from her father rose within her.

"Damnit Raymond, why won't you just listen to me?!" Raymond spun on heel, his face unexpectedly red with matching anger.

"If I could leave you, don't you think I would have done it by now!" Masha's cries erupted from the next the room. Raymond vanished, out of her line of sight as he went to comfort her daughter.

Katarina turned his words over in her mind. What had he meant, that he couldn't leave her? He had done all he could to save her. He had people who loved him who were depending on him. After what she'd done to him, he owed her nothing. Yet he said he couldn't leave. Why? Was it for the same reason she was determined he go?

"Please Raymond. I don't want you to die." Reason hadn't worked but perhaps her desperate begging would. She waited a moment, but heard no response. Had he even heard her?

Raymond appeared in the doorway, holding a quieted Masha. "Why do you care? Why do care if I live or die?" Because she couldn't bear the idea of a world in which he didn't exist. Any resentment or anger she may have feel toward him no longer mattered. She loved him and it was as simple and as complicated as that.

"You know why." Raymond was brilliant and observant and he knew better than anyone else on the planet, including her husband and her father. How could he not know how she felt about him? How could he not see it? How could he not feel it?

Raymond looked down at the baby, perhaps to avoid Katarina's eyes. "If this hadn't happened, would you have told me about Masha?" The question was a kick the gut, but she forced herself to answer honestly.

"No. It seemed kinder not to." Raymond looked up at her sharply.

"Kinder?"

"You have already have a family. A wife. A daughter. Telling you you had a child you would never see, never hold, a child that would call another man her father, seemed cruel." It struck her that even if Raymond's plan worked, that was exactly what would come to pass.

As she lay there watching Raymond hold the baby Katarina found herself imagining a different world. In the fantasy they were in a hospital together, surrounded by balloon and flowers. They had matching wedding bands on their ring fingers. They were a family. A real family. Could that dream have ever been a reality? "May I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead." She shouldn't. It was weak and self-indulgent. Still she desperately wanted to know.

"Back when we were together, if I'd really been just a dance teacher, and I'd told told you I was pregnant...would you have married me?" He hadn't married Carla when she'd become pregnant, but there had been multiple factors at play. He'd been six years younger and planning to go into the Naval Academy which didn't accept married applicants. Would it have been different with them?

Raymond was silent for so long Katarina assumed he wasn't going to answer. When he did speak his voice was so low, she barely caught it. "I wouldn't have married you because you were pregnant. I would have married you because I loved you." Before Katarina had a chance to form a response she heard the sound of the suite door unlocking.

"Katarina!" Konstantin's happy voice traveled through the room. She barely had enough time to arrange her features in a smile before he appeared next to Raymond in the doorway.

"Konstantin." His attention was immediately captured by the baby in Raymond's arms.

"May I?" Raymond paused for only the briefest moment before passing Masha to Konstantin. Konstantin beamed at the child that he believed was his, "Privet moya printsessa. YA tak zhal', chto ya opozdal, no teper' ya zdes'. _(Hello, my princess. I'm so sorry I was late, but I'm here now.)_ "

Raymond chose that moment to walk away from the doorway. She longed to call after him, but there was nothing she could say.

Konstantin also noticed Raymond's sudden departure. "Phillip, where are you going?"

"I thought I'd give the three of you some privacy." Raymond accent was back in full measure, which was a relief. The strain in his voice was not.

"Nonsense. Katarina's too kind to say it aloud, but I'm sure after a full night of labor she'd rather I was elsewhere. A nurse should be arriving soon to look after the baby. At the very least let me treat you to some breakfast." Katarina wasn't sure she'd ever hated herself quite so much as she did at that moment. What she had done to both of these men was unforgivable. Neither of them deserved this. Konstantin at least was blissfully unaware of the crimes she'd committed against him, but Raymond's pain was compounded by the minute.

"That's very kind of you, but I have to be getting back to my room. I'm booked on a noon flight and I wouldn't wish to miss it." Katarina was relieved beyond words when Konstantin relented with an understanding nod.

"Of course. But before you go, please allow me to express my gratitude. The concierge told me everything you've done for Katarina and Masha. I am forever in your debt, old boy." Konstantin adjusted his hold on Masha so he could extend his right hand to Raymond. Within moments Raymond was back in her view, taking it.

"It was nothing."

"On the contrary, it was everything. Thank you." Katarina closed her eyes, wondering if it was possible for a person to perish from guilt. When she opened them again Raymond was gone and Konstantin was still there. "Ustali lyubov' moya? ( _Tired my love?)"_

"Bol'she, chem ya kogda-libo byl v moyey zhizni. _(More than I've ever been in my life.)_ " She was too, mind, body, and soul.

"No eto togo stoilo, da? _(But it was worth it, yes?)_ " Katarina looked at the precious new life her choices, both good and bad, had brought her.

"Da, eto stoilo. _(Yes, it was worth it.)_ "


	6. Some Day

The motel was a considerable step down from the Leningradskaya Hotel Raymond had left three months prior. The walls of the room were bare, save one mirror over the lone dresser. The television set that came with the room had all of three channels and looked like it had been purchased in the 1970s. Still, he was reasonably confident the sheets he now sat upon were clean. It was far from the worse place he'd ever waited for an asset.

Raymond had received word a few days ago that Katarina was heading stateside. Per their S.O.P., he'd placed an ad in the New York Times arranging a time and place for their meeting. The agents in Russia had sent him Katarina's dead dropped notes on her mission parameters. She was heading to Norfolk, Virginia to take over the management of an mercenary spy ring that had lost its original handler.

Raymond had gathered from Katarina's information that the group was falling apart. The original member, John Anthony Walker, a Naval officer, had walked into a Soviet Embassy in the late 1960s, selling a classified document and had been collecting a paycheck from the Reds ever since. He'd recruited his older brother Arthur and his son Michael to his cause. He'd also tried to involve his daughter Laura, who'd been in the Army, but she'd refused to participate, and quit the military to become a full-time mother.

The official counter-mission he'd planned was to gather evidence on the group, then leak it to a third party law enforcement organization to make the arrest. The idea was to plug the leak in such a way that it couldn't be traced back to Katarina.

Raymond heard the lock turn and stood, his heart beating slightly faster than it had been the moment before. The door swung open and suddenly she was there, the woman he'd been dreaming of nearly every night since he'd left her in Russia. Her hair had changed, gone from blonde to auburn. It suited her ivory skin, and her eyes, that could seem green or blue depending on the light.

"Were you able to get Katya and her family out?" Raymond shook himself. He needed to focus.

"Yes." When Raymond had managed to track down Katarina, he hadn't gone to his superiors at the Office of Naval Intelligence. They had made it very clear they had no confidence in him after what had transpired. Instead he'd hounded the Central Intelligence Agency until he'd eventually gotten a meeting with one of the their supervisors, a serious and shrewd man named Alan Fitch. Fitch had pushed Raymond's proposal up through the ranks, and gotten it approved. When Raymond returned from Russia, he'd gone to Fitch again for help and once again the man had come through. Raymond only hoped he could pay the company man back one day.

"I'm glad you were able to help them. Katya deserves better than to spend her life hiding."

Raymond raised an eyebrow. "Technically speaking that's exactly what she's come to the United States to do." Katarina shot him a look that plainly said he knew that wasn't what she meant.

"Changing your name doesn't change who you are. I know that better than anyone. At least here she can love who she loves without fear. Everyone should have right." Raymond cocked his head slightly to the side, somewhat surprised to hear Katarina speak of the US favorably in comparison with Russia.

"I wouldn't have expected you to be sympathetic." She once again fixed him with a hard look.

"The Soviet Union is my country. The doesn't mean I agree with everything they do. I'm sure you could say the same of the United States." Raymond broke Katarina's gaze. She did have a point.

"Fair enough. Did you meet with Walker?" Katarina nodded, distaste twisting her features.

"Yes. He's concerned about his ex-wife Barbara. He claims she's a security risk we might want to 'take care of'. Please tell my counter-mission is to nail this bastard to the wall." Yet again Katarina had caught Raymond off guard. He wouldn't have predicted the Russian agent would be eager to expose her comrades in the cause.

"Why the sudden enthusiasm for punishing Soviet spies? Seems a little strange, given your own professed allegiance." Would Raymond ever fully understand this woman?

Katarina's eyes flashed in anger. "I chose to serve Russia because of my mother and because I believed in their core ideology of equality. I betrayed my country because I was trying to protect my family. John Walker sold out his country FOR MONEY. He involved two other members of his family in his treason FOR MONEY. He is asking me to kill his ex-wife, the mother of his children, FOR MONEY. John Walker is NOTHING like me."

She was magnificent. Strong. Passionate. He'd caught glimpses of her before, as ballet teacher Sara Dawson, as KGB Agent Rostova, as Masha's mother, but now he saw her fully. Katarina was all of them and none of them. She loved her family and her country. She believed motives mattered as much as actions. She was willing to die for what she thought was right.

"No. You're right. He's not." Katarina's seemed taken aback by his retreat. After a moment she dug into her pocket and removed a small recording device. She passed it to Raymond.

"Here's a copy of the conversation. If you play it for Barbara Walker, I think she'll cooperate, point the finger at John." Raymond turned the device over his hands.

"What about her son?" Katarina grimaced.

"She doesn't know Michael's involved." So they'd be tricking an unwitting mother into sending her child to jail. Raymond could tell from Katarina's expression that sit any better with her than it did with him. Still, they didn't have much of a choice.

"I'll go to Boston, get her cooperation, and talk to the local FBI. We can backdate the interview so it will appear this was set in motion while you were still in Russia. The feds can kick the report to the Norfolk office and they'll take care of the rest." Raymond knew he should be happier about this. It was a huge win victory, shutting down a spy ring that'd been operational for over a decade. That wasn't what was on his mind however. Instead all he could think about was the small piece of paper in his pocket and how he desperately didn't want to remove it.

Katarina was staring at him, waiting for him to say something indicating that their meeting had in fact ended. He sighed and instead fished the small white square from his coat. "One last thing. I need you to memorize this."

Katarina took the paper, scanned it for all of ten seconds, then handed it back to him. "Who is Sam Milhoan?"

Raymond dropped the paper into the ashtray on the room's nightstand."He's a smuggler. He does a lot of business providing goods for the Soviet black market." He used one of the motel's matches to set the note on fire.

"Why are you giving me his number?" Raymond reluctantly turned back to Katarina.

"If you ever find yourself in a situation like the one we faced in Moscow, call him. He'll help you." Raymond had met Sam only a few years back, while Raymond was still in the Academy. He'd been fond of sneaking off campus when he couldn't sleep, and heading down the ports.

One night he'd seen a man being jumped by three other men and he'd rushed in to help. The next day he'd been called in front of the superintendent to explain his mysteriously acquired bruises. They hadn't been able to prove what he'd been up to, so he'd merely been "fried", rather than expelled. Despite the rigid punishments that had followed, it had all been worth it. Not only had Raymond gained a true friend, but he'd also unwittingly acquired his first CI.

"You trust him?" Despite his vocation, Sam Milhoan was one of the most loyal and honorable men Raymond had ever known. When Raymond had been under review last year, more than a few of his fellow ensigns had mysterious evaporated from his life, not wishing to be tainted by association. Sam on the other hand had stuck by him, offering his assistance. It had been through one of Sam's contacts he'd been able to trace Katherine Richards to Katarina Rostova.

"Yes. He's a good man." Raymond took a deep breath in, painfully aware of the ramifications of his next words, "There's something else you should know. I lied to you." Katarina blinked at him.

"About what?" This was it, the moment he'd been dreading for the past few months.

"The United States government doesn't know as much about you as I've lead you to believe. They know about Sara Dawson and about Katarina Rostova. They don't know about Katherine Richards. They don't know about your father." He'd released the chains that had tied Katarina to him, to their agreement. He had deliberately betrayed his country.

"Why are you telling me this?" Because he loved her. Because he wanted her to live. Because he didn't want his daughter to grow-up without a mother.

"You could take Masha and run." He would never see them again. He'd never hold Katarina in his arms. He'd never watch Masha take her first steps. Still, they'd be free. He could make that trade. He was strong enough for that.

"No, I can't do that." Now it was Raymond's turn to blink. What did she mean, 'no'?

"If you stay you'll die, or end up in jail."

"If I run they would never stop hunting me. Besides I can't just leave...everything behind." Konstantin. Of course, that was what this was about. She didn't want to leave her husband.

"Konstantin loves you. He'd come with you, if you asked him." Saying the words felt like choking up vomit, but he managed. If the Russian businessman was what Katarina needed to make the choice that would save her life then so be it.

"Ask him to give up him to give up his whole life? Everything he's worked for? No. I couldn't do that. It wouldn't be fair to him." Fair? What was she talking about? Konstantin would have her and Masha. What man could ask for more than that?

"Why not?" Katarina's looked at him incredulously, as though he were missing something obvious.

"You know why not." Raymond was immediately transported to the hotel room where Katarina had given birth. She gotten angry at him for refusing to leave her and he'd asked why she'd cared. She'd told him that he'd known. The piece of his heart that had been dead since the moment he'd realised she was a KGB plant had suddenly pulsed back to life. Did she...love him? It seemed impossible, a foolish hope, and yet...

"No, I don't. Tell me." Katarina's eyes were filled with painful regret.

"Please don't make this harder than it already is." She turned to leave, but in two short steps Raymond caught her arm and turned her towards him.

"Say it, out loud. Say it." They were inches apart. He could smell the lavender scent of her hair. Every nerve ending in his body was alive, waiting for her to say something, to do something. Finally Katarina looked up at him.

"I love Konstantin...but not the way I love you." The words were barely out of her mouth before he claimed it for a kiss that was immediately and hungrily returned. The past year vanished like a bad dream and suddenly he was back in her arms where he belonged.

Raymond picked Katarina up and carried her to the bed, not caring about what had come before, or what would come after. They were here, now, together. Nothing mattered but that.

Hours later Raymond was laying in bed, shameless staring at a sleeping Katarina, feeling a genuine contentment he hadn't known in twelve months. The small, modest motel room had miraculously become his personal heaven and he never wanted to leave it. Hell, he never even wanted to leave the bed. On an impulse he leaned over and kissed Katarina's forehead. Her eyes slowly opened and she greeted him with a sleepy smile.

"I missed you." Katarina's smile broadened at his confession and she ran her hand lightly across his chest.

"I missed you too." Raymond was deeply tempted to let her fingers continue their travels, but there were things on his mind that seemed too pressing to put off.

"I'm sorry." Katarina, eyebrows puckered together, as though she couldn't imagine what he could be referring to.

"For what?"

"For hunting you down. For making you a double agent. For putting you in more danger." If something happened to her because of what he'd done...

Katarina gently stroked his cheek. "In your place I would done the same thing. Besides if you hadn't found me, I would never have seen you again." Raymond took her hand and kissed her palm in gratitude for the absolution she so freely granted him.

"How's Masha?" Katarina smiled warmly at his inquiry.

"Wonderful. Although I've never been more grateful for my sleep deprivation training." Raymond found himself laughing softly at her joke. The casual reference to the KGB no longer stung the way it once would have.

"I remember that from when Jennifer was a newborn. One night I was so tired I accidentally filled the baby bottle with hot coffee." Carla had walked in in time to stop him, fortunately. The thought of his wife sent a sudden, unwelcome surge of guilt through him. He'd been unfaithful. Disloyal. Things he swore he'd never be.

"I wasn't going to go through with the pregnancy." Katarina's rushed words brought Raymond out of his dark thoughts.

"What?"

"I only kept the baby for Konstantin, because he wanted a family so badly. I thought of her as a curse. Now I look at her and I am overwhelmed by what a miracle she is. I can't imagine my life without her." Raymond thought back to the small, sweet face with large blue eyes and his heart began to ache. When Rostov had burst into the hotel and asked Raymond to relinquish the baby it had taken every ounce of self-control to comply. Masha was his daughter. She belonged with him.

"We could go. The three of us. You, me, and Masha. We could disappear." Between the two them, they could get the money and papers. They could do this, together. Start over, leave it all behind them. No more handlers, no more spying, no more secrets, just them.

Raymond watched as Katarina mulled his proposal over in her mind. The fact that it wasn't an immediate rejection was comforting. She did want this. She did want him. Still something was obviously troubling her.

"What about Jennifer? I know you Raymond. You'd never forgive yourself for abandoning her. What about Masha? What kind of a life would that be for her, growing up on the run?" Raymond's heart sunk. She wasn't wrong. He loved Jennifer. He'd promised her that he'd be there for her. To disappear forever and never see her again was unthinkable. And Masha deserved a stable home, Katarina was right about that as well. He was trapped. They both were.

"I don't want lose you. Either of you." Katarina leaned over, tears in her eyes and kissed him.

"You won't. This war won't last forever. Some day things will be different." It was a desperate hope, but it was all they had to hold onto. Raymond nodded, resigned.

"Some day." He pulled Katarina to him, newly determined to make the most of the precious time they had. A conviction filled him, stronger than any he'd ever felt, that he would not rest unless the Soviet Union fell and the KGB was no more. On that day, they would all be free.


	7. Too Hard

It was a fairly simple playground, as these places went. A swing set. A sandbox. A play structure with a few slides. Still the children running around, yelling and laughing, didn't seem to mind. Why should they? It was a beautiful summer day, and they didn't have a care in the world. Raymond wished he could say the same.

He took a bite of his ham and cheese sandwich and pretended to read the newspaper on his lap. Nothing unusual to see here, just an average businessman enjoying his lunch hour.

"Any news?" His eyes followed the long legs of the woman who'd joined him on the bench all the way up to her eyes. Katarina. Her hair had changed again, back to blonde. It seemed it was different every time he saw her. Long. Short. Straight. Wavy. Blonde. Brunette. Redhead. She was a woman of a thousand disguises. Her eyes were always the same though, that unforgettable blue/green. Words couldn't express how relieved he was to have her here and safe.

"Nothing concrete. Fitch says the team the CIA assembled can't even say with certainty there is a mole. They're worried the agency might be bugged. The halt on new recruitment hasn't been lifted yet." Not long after he and Katarina had reconciled they'd both received the scare of their lives. American assets had suddenly started disappearing in droves, never to be seen again. US intelligence had scrabbled to stop the bleeding, but thus far they'd been wildly unsuccessful.

"Which means they'll be leaning on the ones they already have more than ever. On top of everything else..." Katarina pressed her lips together, cutting herself off. Something was wrong, but she didn't want to share it.

"What it is?" Katarina shook her head and forced a smile.

"Nothing. Look, I brought a surprise for you." Katarina nodded over at the sandbox. Raymond followed her gaze. Among the smaller children playing in the sand was a small, brown-haired girl in a flowered shirt and jeans. Raymond watched as she happily banged a plastic shovel on a bucket. Masha. She'd gotten so big. Raymond was seized with a powerful urge run over and scoop her up in his arms. He resisted, forcing his eyes back to the newspaper.

"Thank you. Now, tell me what's wrong." Katarina released a small sigh.

"Konstantin's sick. There's a blood disease that runs in his family, and the doctors just confirmed he has it." No wonder she hadn't wanted to tell him. Katarina was no more anxious to introduce Konstantin into their few stolen moments than he was to bring up Carla. He pushed down the inevitable wave of jealousy and focused on what she'd actually said. Konstantin had a genetic disorder.

"Will they test Masha?" A DNA screening would expose Masha's paternity, and a part of him wished for that. If Katarina's marriage to Rostov dissolved, then maybe the KGB would assign her back to the states full time. It wasn't ideal scenario, but it would be a hell of a lot better than what they had now.

"No. It only affects Rostov men. She's safe, for now at least." Safe. Raymond felt a stab of guilt. He knew Konstantin's presence in Katarina's life gave her a certain level of protection. It meant Masha was likewise looked after. Wanting to remove that safety net was extremely selfish.

"For now?"

"In a decade to two, when the disease progresses, he'll need a healthy genetic donor." Which he would expect to find in Masha. Of course Katarina was upset. He knew she loved Konstantin, in the same way he loved Carla. She felt responsible for making him believe he already had the means to one day save his life.

"What's his prognosis?" Raymond told himself that he didn't want Rostov to die. That would hurt Katarina and he could never wish for anything that caused her pain. He also believed that Konstantin was essentially a good man. He didn't deserve to have his life cut short.

"Typically patients don't last past their late fifties, early sixties." Raymond exhaled. Masha would be grown by then. This war, God willing, would be done.

"Thirty years is a long time. There's no telling the kinds of medical advances that could occur between now and then." He wished he could take her hand, comfort her, but he couldn't. They were in public. It was too much of a risk, even here in a small Virginia town.

"How is Jennifer? Is she still dancing?" Raymond allowed Katarina's redirect.

"Yes. She a few months ago she performed the lead in Swan Lake." He'd actually managed to attend the recital. Jennifer had been wonderful and Carla had been so proud. They both had been. It had been a good night, marred only by the fact that Raymond couldn't help thinking of Katarina. It was, after all through his daughter's dancing that they'd met. He'd been picking his daughter up from a lesson. He remembered how beautiful she'd been the first time he'd seen her, hair done in an elegant bun, wearing long-sleeved black leotard.

"That's wonderful." Raymond recalled how good she'd been with his daughter. Jennifer had raved about Miss Sara, and been devastated when her instructor had vanished without warning.

Attempting to block that painful recollection, Raymond risked another glance up at Masha. She'd put the shovel down and seemed to be having an animated conversation with a stuffed animal. Raymond squinted at the toy. It looked very familiar.

"The stuffed animal she's carrying, isn't that-"

"The rabbit you bought her? Yes. It's her favorite. She won't go anywhere without it." He couldn't believe it. When he'd gone into the toy store he'd been more or less in fog due to the shock of Katarina's pregnancy. He'd chosen the rabbit on a whim, yet of all the toys he imagined Masha had been presented with, it was his that now she squeezed to her chest. "I have something for you." Katarina nodded at the newspaper and he passed it over to her. Katarina pretended to read an article while deftly slipping a small rectangle between the pages, "It's a photograph of me and Masha at the summer palace." Raymond's throat tightened. It was a kind gesture on Katarina's part. She knew how much he wanted to see his daughter, to see how she'd grown.

"The summer palace?"

"It's a house Konstantin bought in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. He hates summers Novosibirsk." Raymond's mood soured in a moment. He had enough reasons to envy Konstantin without the man being able to provide 'palaces' to Katarina and Masha.

"Remind me again how a so-called Communist winds up with two houses?" Katarina's sighed at Raymond's cutting tone of voice. He instantly feel contrite. This wasn't Katarina's fault and he shouldn't take out his bad temper out on her.

"Raymond-"

"I know. I'm sorry. I just...it's been over two years and I feel like we're no closer to the end of this than we were then." It wasn't just frustration, it was also fear. The longer this dragged on, the greater chance that the KGB would learn of Katarina's double agent status.

"It's hard. I know." It WAS hard. Too hard for him. Quite frankly he wasn't strong enough for it, even if Katarina was. She was a foundational element in his life. If he lost her, he would crumble into dust. He wouldn't let that happened.

"What if there were something we could do about it?" Katarina looked at him, puzzled. Raymond took a deep breath and forged on, "Fitch told me about this group made up intelligence officers and government officials from both sides of the the Iron Curtain. They want to stabilize global relations without the interference of bureaucracy."

Katarina didn't speak for a full fifteen seconds. "Please tell me you're joking." Her voice was one part incredulity, one part horror. He would need to be extremely persuasive.

"Don't you want this to end? Don't you want Masha to grow up in a world where our countries aren't a hair-trigger away from launching nukes at each other?" Masha was the key here. Katarina would be willing to agree to most anything if it kept their daughter safe. He felt the same way.

"What makes you think you can trust these people? People who operate without oversight, without any authority granted by their government?" Raymond grimaced. This had, of course, occurred to him. Still it was hard to imagine anyone being less scrupulous or trustworthy than the CIA or the KGB. If his few years in intelligence had taught him anything, it was that institutions couldn't be trusted. People could be though, a select basis.

"I trust Alan Fitch. He is a good man. A patriot. He helped me get Katya and her family to safety." Alan was also an amazing mentor. Raymond had learned a thousand times more from the spook than had from all his Naval Academy instructors combined. He knew how to get things done without all the red tape.

"Did you consider the reason he did you that favor, was so he could hold it over you later?" Raymond's certainty wavered, just for a moment. Was it possible Katarina was right? Had Alan helped him two years ago, so that Raymond would be more open-minded about his offer?

Raymond mentally shook himself. It didn't matter, even if it was true. He had to focus on the immediate threat: the KGB. He had to stop them before they had the chance to hurt the woman he loved.

"There is a leak, Katarina. Whoever it is has gone quiet, but they're still out there. Every day I wake up, wondering if this is day they find you. I can't keep living like that. I won't." Katarina's eyes raked his face.

"You already said 'yes', didn't you?" Raymond was silent for a moment. Of course she had guessed. She's always been able to read him like an open book.

"A member of group will be in contact shortly." Alan said he wanted someone fresh to meet with Katarina. They needed a backup handler, in case they needed her for a mission and Raymond was off on on assignment for the Navy.

"How could you agree to this without even discussing it with me? We are supposed to be partners! We are supposed to be in this together!" The accusation stung.

"We are." Even with their history, there was no one Raymond trusted as much as he trusted her.

"No, we're not. Not when you unilaterally make decisions for us. For ME." Katarina stood and began walking toward the sandpit. "Masha! It's time to go sweetheart!" Raymond watched helplessly as Katarina gathered their daughter up in her arms and headed out of the park. He wanted to call her back, try to explain, but of course he couldn't. It was probably better that he give her time to cool down any way. He'd figure out a way to get her on board, somehow.

Raymond waited about two minutes on the bench before heading to his car. He was debating whether or not to find a hotel or start the drive home when he felt a small metal object dig into his back.

"Don't move." Raymond froze at the gruff male voice. He was being robbed in broad daylight, outside a playground. Alexandria was a rougher neighborhood than he'd realized.

"Buddy, if you want my wallet, you can have it. It's just here inside my jacket." He started to reach for his concealed weapon when he heard the distinct click of a gun hammer.

"Reach for that gun and I'll put a hole in your kidney. Now walk over the the passenger door of the green pickup truck, open it, and slide over to the drivers side." Raymond's mind was racing. This wasn't a mugging, it was a kidnapping. The man had made him. Was he KGB? Had they been caught? Did they already have Katarina?

Once Raymond was in the vehicle he was finally able to see his captor. He was a big, barrel chested man in his fifties, built like a linebacker. His dirty blonde hair mixed evenly with silver. Steel blue eyes pierced into Raymond in an eerily familiar manner. He'd seen this man before, from a distance. This was Frank Richards. Katarina's father. Masha's grandfather. The KGB sleeper who'd successfully operated in the United States for thirty years.

The big man slid into the car after Raymond, tossed him the keys, and began giving driving directions. The pistol in Richards' right hand compelled him to cooperate. All Raymond could think as he navigated gravel roads was what this meant for Katarina. If her father found out she had been turned, would he out her to the KGB? It didn't seem likely, given her father's reaction to her recruitment. Still that didn't meant Raymond was safe. The man might shoot him for being an American agent or for blackmailing his daughter into committing treason.

"Pull in here." Raymond turned the truck onto a long driveway. At the end of it was a brown house with a bright blue door. Richards had brought Raymond to his home in the middle of woods. There wasn't a neighbor for miles. That meant no witnesses for whatever Richards had planned. Katarina was a staying here, but there was no telling when she'd return with Masha. She'd need to get whatever she'd claimed she was heading into town for. Apparently Richards hadn't been fooled by her lie.

Raymond parked the car and was ushered at gunpoint into the detached garage. Boxes lined the walls filled with children's toys. Katarina's toys. Despite the dire situation he felt a flicker of interest in their contents. Then he noticed the large wooden chair in the center of the room.

Handcuffs were attached to both arms.

"Drop the briefcase and sit." Raymond obeyed, despite the building panic in his stomach. The man had obviously planned this little chat and Raymond was fairly certain he was not going to like what was on the agenda.

Richards divested Raymond of his gun and secured him to the chair. Once Raymond was handcuffed, the larger man stepped back and laid his weapon on one of the cardboard boxes.

"How do you know my daughter?" The lie burst forth from Raymond without his making a conscious decision to release it.

"Your daughter? Who the hell is your daughter?" Richards' retribution was a hard punch to Raymond's nose. "Ow!" The yell of pain was not in the least counterfeit. The man hit like an anvil.

"Don't lie to me." Katarina's father's voice was remarkably calm, given the damaged he'd just done.

"Are you talking about the blonde? She came over and started talking to me. I didn't realise that was illegal. What is this, amish country?" This time pain exploded in his stomach. "Ow! Would you please stop hitting me?!" Jesus, the man was strong, especially for someone in his middle age.

"Maybe when you start telling the truth." Richards bent down and opened Raymond's briefcase. He removed the few items he'd found in there, including the newspaper. As Richards flip through the pages the photograph of Masha and Katarina slipped out and fell to the floor. Katarina's father picked up the picture and studied it. "Why do you have this? Why would she give this to you?" Suddenly a figure appeared behind Richards.

"Papa, what are you doing?!" Richards' face, which had been so neutral in the interrogation, darkened with anger.

"Who is he Katarina?! Why were you meeting with him in secret?!" Father and daughter stared each other down in a silent battle of wills. Finally Katarina's shifted her eyes to Raymond.

"He's Masha's father."


	8. Family

Raymond held the frozen peas on his nose and watched Masha eat Cheerios out of the corner of his eye. After untying him, Katarina had sent Raymond into the house to watch their daughter while she and her father 'talked'. The toddler hadn't shown much interest in him when he arrived in the kitchen. The banana slices and cereal that made up her lunch had captured her full focus. Now that she was nearly done, he noticed more glances were being directed his way.

"Who you?" Raymond was a bit surprised to hear his daughter speak English. She had been coming to visit her grandfather here in the States since she was six months old, but most of the year she spent in Russia.

"Raymond. Kak tvoye imya? (What's your name?)" Masha gave him a surprisingly stern look for a two and a half year old. She pointed her chubby index finger at him in an absurdly adorable way.

"No. English. English." Raymond laughed out loud. She was scolding him for speaking Russian. No doubt this was learned behavior. Perhaps Katarina had been teaching her daughter to only speak English when she was at her Grandfather's. It made sense. An American overhearing a young child speaking Russian would become immediately suspicious. Children were adept at picking up languages when they were young, so it was practical to teach her both now.

"Sorry. What's your name?" She regarded over her sippy cup with serious blue eyes.

"Masha." Raymond smiled. It was an odd feeling to be sitting across from his daughter, speaking to her for the first time since she was a newborn. He could stare at her sweet face all day long. He scooted his chair so it was right next to hers, and held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Masha." She put her small palm in his and smiled as he gave it a smal shake. He released a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. She wasn't afraid of him. He reluctantly let go of her fingers. Instead of drawing her hands back, Masha pointed at his face.

"Ow?" Raymond blinked, then nodded.

"Yes, I hurt my nose. Ow." He lifted the peas to give her a better look at his injury. He braced himself as his daughter inspected his nose with her tiny fingers, but her touch was butterfly soft. When Masha drew back, she raised her elbow and pointed to a bandage at it's tip.

"Ow."

"You have an "ow" too? I'm sorry. Did Mommy kiss it all better?" Raymond demonstrated, kissing the pads of his fingers, then carefully touching them to his daughter's band-aid. Masha smiled and nodded, seemingly untroubled by his casual contact. She pointed to his nose again.

"Mommy kiss?" It took him a moment to realise that Masha was asking if her mother would use her healing kiss on his nose to fix it. Raymond tended to doubt it, given Katarina's present mood with him. He'd been lucky she hadn't decided to leave him handcuffed to the chair in her father's garage.

"No, I don't think Mommy will kiss it better." Masha frowned, then after a moment's contemplation, leaned forward and planted a feather kiss on Raymond's nose. She sat back in her chair, a satisfied smile on her face.

"All better." Raymond's throat thickened with emotion and for a moment he didn't trust himself to speak. He knew it was ridiculous to get worked up over a small gesture of kindness from a child. It was hardly something that should bring tears to his eyes, and yet it had, because Masha wasn't any child. She was HIS child.

"Yes. All better. Thank you." Masha's friendly smile stretched even wider as she sighted something over Raymond's right shoulder.

"Mommy!" Masha hopped out of her chair and ran past him at an impressive speed for a toddler. Raymond turned to watch as Masha embraced her mother as though they'd been separated for days, rather than minutes. He felt a surprising and unwelcome surge of jealousy toward the woman he loved. What was wrong with him, that he'd coveted the closeness of a mother and child? That fact that he was a stranger to Masha was as much his fault as it was anyone's.

"Hello Masha. Did you make a new friend?" Raymond's heart swelled as his daughter's head bounced up and down. 'Friend' might not be 'father', but it was something. "How would you like to watch Sesame Street for a few minutes?"

"Cookie, Cookie, Cookie!" Katarina laughed as she took Masha's left hand in hers.

"Yes, with Cookie Monster!" Katarina started leading Masha into the den, but the little girl turned back and looked right at him. She held her free hand out expectantly.

"Raymond, come." Raymond immediately stood, responding to the summons with all the haste of a knight commanded to appear before his Queen. The look Katarina gave him stopped him in his tracks.

"No, Masha, Raymond can't come right now. Maybe in a little while." Masha's smile turned into an adorable pout.

"Now." The stubborn expression on Masha's face was identical to the one he's seen on Katarina's many times before. In that moment the resemblance between them was uncanny.

"In a little while, I promise." Katarina's tone was soft, but firm and after a short staring contest, Masha nodded. She gave Raymond a small wave as she allowed her mother to lead her into the next room.

After a minute the soft, but familiar notes of Sunny Days floated into the kitchen. A few seconds later Katarina reappeared in the doorway.

"How did it go with your Dad? Is he out there digging a shallow grave?" When he'd left Frank Richards and Katarina they had been engaged in a heated argument, and using some words that had definitely not been covered in his introductory Russian courses.

"My father is taking a walk to cool down. He's got a bit of a temper." Raymond raised an eyebrow, but elected not to point out he wasn't the only one in the Richards family with that trait.

"I hadn't noticed." He lifted the peas off his face and tenderly touched his nose. It was definitely swelling, but it didn't feel like it was out of alignment.

"Let me see." Raymond obliged by removing his hand, and letting Katarina examine her father's handiwork. Her soft hands cupped his face as she gently turned it in order to examine his nose from different angles. "Doesn't look crooked. I'll check again when the swelling goes down."

"About how sure are you he's not going to be calling his handlers about me." Katarina's released him and straightened, her hands moving to her hips.

"100%. Calling in outsiders would expose me and him. If he was going to kill you, he'd do it himself." That had been Raymond's assumption, but Katarina's validation of his opinion was oddly comforting. "I've told him if he tries anything, I will take Masha and he'll never see either of us ever again." Clever Katarina, targeting the man's weak spot. Her father might not believe his daughter would kill him over Raymond, but he would know she was more than capable of disappearing on him.

"Powerful incentive." Frank had already proven he loved his daughter more than his country. Now Raymond would just have to hope Katarina's father loved her more than he hated Raymond.

"You're a big hit with Masha apparently. She wants to know if you're staying for dinner." He could think of nothing he'd rather do than spend more time with Katarina and Masha, but he was a more than a little surprised at the implicit invitation.

"I'm not sure I'm welcome." Katarina sighed and looked out the window.

"I can handle my father." Perhaps it would be smarter to leave it at that, just accept the olive branch. It was too bad leaving things alone wasn't in his nature.

"I wasn't talking about your father. You're still angry with me." Katarina's arms crossed her chest in classic distancing body language.

"I'm entitled to be." Raymond sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was hard to dispute the point. If the situation had been reversed, he'd have been furious.

"I did what I thought I best for us. For you. For Masha." He wouldn't apologize for his decision. It would dishonest to say he regretted his choice, and he'd sworn he wouldn't lie to her.

"I'm not questioning your intentions, Raymond. I'm questioning why you didn't talk to me first."

"I didn't think you'd agree." Katarina's lips tightened in a way that told Raymond she didn't appreciate his answer, honest though it may have been.

"But you did it anyway."

"I know I'm right. Please, trust me." She had to know he'd never do anything to hurt her or Masha. They were his world.

"The problem Raymond, is that you don't trust me." Katarina started to turn away from him, but he reached out to take hold of her shoulders.

"I DO." She didn't fight his hold, but she wasn't looking him in the eye. He need her to. She needed to see the truth in his eyes. "Look at me, Kat." After a long pause she turned, gazing directly into his eyes. God, she was beautiful. She was the only woman he'd ever known who could level him with only a look. "I do. It's just...you are in danger and it's my fault. I wanted to fix it. To end this, so you can be safe and we can be together." He belonged with her. He knew that as certainly as he knew his own name.

"At what cost Raymond? Because I guarantee there will be one, and I do not want you to be the one to pay it!" Him? That was what she was concerned about? He'd assumed she was angry her own behalf, Masha's? It hadn't even occurred to him that it was his safety she feared for.

"You're worried about me?" Katarina's face reddened with anger. He couldn't help, but notice how stunning she was in her fury. She reminded him of a valkyrie or maybe an amazon queen.

"Of course I'm worried about you, you idiot! I love you!" In a bold and admittedly risky move Raymond pulled Katarina to him for a long and passionate kiss. He found him rewarded for his impetuousness when the woman he loved returned the caress in full measure. It was impossible to say how long they remained like that, arms wrapped around each other when a gruff voice intruded on their private bliss.

"I need to speak to the American alone." They broke apart like two teenagers caught by a disapproving parent. Katarina scowled at her father, her face betraying not one hint of embarrassment. Raymond only hoped his own expression was as convincing.

"His name is Raymond." Frank Richards gave a disdainful snort and Raymond fought the urge to roll his eyes. Katarina looked to him, the unspoken question in her eyes.

"It's fine. I doubt he's going to kill me with his granddaughter in the next room." She shook her head and turned to her father.

"Behave." Her eyes swung back to Raymond, "Both of you." After shooting them both a final forbidding glance, she marched out of the room toward the sound of the television.

Raymond and Frank regarded each other with mutual expressions of distrust. Katarina's father broke their staredown by bending over and opening one of the upper kitchen cabinets. He removed a frying pan and Raymond briefly wondered if the large man was planning to bludgeon him to death with the cooking implement. The thought fell by the wayside when Frank also removed a bowl.

"Get the eggs, butter, and milk out of the refrigerator." After a split second's hesitation Raymond complied.

"Are we cooking something?" Was this the Russian's idea of breaking bread? If it was a peace offering, Raymond would make every effort take it in the spirit intended. He owed Katarina that much.

"I'm cooking. You're staying out of my way." Raymond let the remark roll off him. Frank didn't like him, and that was fine. He wasn't exactly enamored of the KGB sleeper, especially given the state of his nose.

"Yes, sir." Frank grunted as turned on the stove top and took the salt and pepper from the kitchen table. He retrieved the butter from where Raymond had set it on the counter.

"Dom."

"Excuse me?" The large man sliced a chunk of butter from the stick and tossed it in the pan.

"You are father to my granddaughter. Given those circumstances, formality is hardly appropriate. My true name is not Frank Richards, but Dominick Yashkin. You may call me Dom." Raymond blinked, surprised at the concession.

"Thank you." Dom didn't glanced up from his work of cracking eggs into a metal bowl, rather forcefully in Raymond's opinion.

"It isn't as a sign of approval or respect. I would happily shoot you and bury you on the edge of my property." Well that was...honest at any rate. Raymond briefly wondered what investigators would find if they search these woods with cadaver dogs. It was probably not something he should contemplate.

"Understood." Dom froze for a moment, then placed the mixing bowl on the counter. He then turned to Raymond and the level of anger and disgust in the older man's eyes almost made him step back.

"Do you? Well, I can't begin to understand Katarina's affection for you. A man who would use her family against her in order to coerce her into committing treason. Who makes love to her while being married to another woman. Who involves her in an even more dangerous shadow organization to assuage his own guilt. You are not worthy of being Katarina's husband, and certainly not of being Masha's father." With every word of loathing Katarina's father had spewed, Raymond had felt himself become more and more angry. All thoughts of establishing a truce with this man flew out of his head. He wasn't the type of turn the other cheek, at least not after the verbal beating he'd just taken.

"I'm curious, on what authority are you speaking about fatherhood? Because, if I'm not mistaken, your stellar parenting skills lead Katarina to ignore you for a decade. In fact, the only reason she reconciled with you was to provide an excuse to meet with me. Really you should be thanking me." Dom's face was nearly purple with ire, his fists clenched at his sides. The KGB agent took a step toward Raymond and Raymond raised his fists in response.

"Grandpa, Grandpa, Grandpa!" Both men froze and simultaneously dropped their arms, Masha rushed into the room and made a beeline for Dom. The older man reached down and scooped up his grandchild.

"What is it, my princess?" The transformation was incredible. The threatening KGB agent had vanished completely and in his place was a doting grandfather. As Dom beamed at Masha, Raymond felt his anger leave him as swiftly as it had come. It was hard to hate someone who loved his daughter as much as he clearly did.

"Mommy say Raymond and Grandpa come!" Raymond smiled ruefully. Katarina had sent Masha in to unwittingly keep the peace. How well she knew both him and her father.

"We'll be in in just a few minutes. Hurry back to your mother." Dom set Masha down and she scampered out of the room, blissfully ignorant of the fight her presence had ended before it had begun. Raymond elected to break the silence first.

"What I said wasn't true. Katarina wanted to reconcile with you because wanted Masha to know her grandfather. And she missed you. I apologize for saying otherwise." He'd wanted to hurt Dom, because, if Raymond was being honest, the older man's words had struck a nerve. The hardest reproaches to hear were the one's that were true.

"You weren't wrong about our estrangement. As father I've made...mistakes. If I'd been more honest perhaps none of us would be standing here now." They both fell silent a moment, pondering that what-if. A world where Katarina had never become a spy. Would Raymond still be in this predicament? Surely another agent would have been assigned to him, but if it hadn't been Katarina, would they have been successful? Somehow Raymond didn't think so. After Katarina's initial betrayal he wondered how he could have been so deceived. Now he knew. He'd missed the signs because so much of what they'd had was real.

"I realise you have no reason to like or trust me, but I love Katarina and Masha, more than anything. I will protect them." Dom regarded him for a moment, not with disdain as he had before, but with analytical assessment.

"I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that if you fail, you're a dead man."

"I won't fail." Failure was simply not an option to Raymond. The odds may have been stacked against him, but his entire life had been built around making the impossible happen.

"But if you do-"

"If I did, I doubt I'd care one way or the other." He'd had nightmare about the world Dom was suggestion, one without Katarina and Masha and he knew with certainty that it would be the end of him. The man he was would cease to exist. If that future came to pass, he didn't give a damn what Dom did to whatever the hell remained. Raymond forced a confident smile and banished those dark thoughts from his mind. "But, as I said, I won't fail."

"Set the table, Raymond. The eggs will be ready in a few minutes." Raymond. It was a start. Dom resumed his food preparation without bothering to tell him which cabinet held the plates and utensils. The KGB agent didn't even asked if he even ate scrambled eggs. It didn't matter. Even if Raymond had been deathly allergic he would have choked the offered food down, excused himself to the bathroom and administered the epipen. He doubted anything he could do would win over the stubborn spy, but Raymond would try. As Dom had said, they were now tethered to each other. They were family, by blood, if not yet by law. Nothing mattered more than that.


End file.
